Did you ever read the The Velveteen Rabbit? In short, a stuffed bunny wants to be Real...he is loved by a little boy, but more than anything Real is what he wants. {SPOILER ALERT} Through the wonders of nursery magic, he eventually does become a Real bunny.
For close to 20 months I was looking for work. In a pretty short time, I began to feel very much like I wasn't a real person. More than once I described the job search process as dehumanizing. 117 job applications and, maybe, 7 in-person interviews. In most of the 117 cases, I never heard anything beyond the initial, generic confirmation. Nothing. I really did believe in myself and in my abilities. For the most part, I applied to positions where I knew I could bring value and had experience. And that did not seem to matter. When I was able to interview, I rarely heard back afterward....not even declines. Decline me...just tell me something. I wished for my own nursery magic.
On the plus side, for the entire 20 months, I was surrounded by people who did whatever they could to help me. From the friends & family who made sure I got out and socialized to the friends who put my name in front of hiring managers to my husband who never stopped believing I would triumph. I will be forever thankful and humbled by the amount of support I received. I made a deal with myself that I would give that back whenever I could and am looking forward to doing that.
Then, there were some folks who never responded to my requests for help and that was fine -- no one was obligated to help. There were also a couple of people who weren't overly supportive and felt compelled to be vocal about what they thought, but again, that was fine -- they didn't need to be cheerleaders. I believed it would happen and that was all that mattered. And I strongly believe in Karma - the Universe will sort it all out.
Eventually, things would come together. Job #115 was the magic job. It was right for many reasons and I started on October 7th. I have been so happy to go there each day ~ and when I say the commute sucks I'm not kidding ~ but that is manageable. It's the people and the work. I think that, in addition to doing work you love, you need to work with people you like and respect. And I do. I have been handed so many opportunities to really grow over the last 6 weeks I almost cannot believe it. I do my best to make sure I am living up to the expectations my team has and those I set for myself.
As a rule, I wake up every day thankful. I have added my job and my teammates to my list. They have helped to restore my sense of purpose and value.
My job search time was both wonderful and awful. I was lucky to have the time home -- I love being home. I was able to spend the time with family and friends I didn't have before. I did things out in the yard and in the house I never had time to do. I adopted an amazing cat with mild special needs - something I would not have done had I been working at that time. The awful times were how lonely it sometimes could be...how I lost my focus from time to time...and how I wondered if I'd ever be able to continue my career.
I'm glad the nursery magic finally happened for me...how I became Real again. If you ever doubt your own abilities or feel like giving up - I say to you - keep believing and let the magic happen...I know it will.
xo
