Can I Hear You Now?

Most everyone who knows me in person knows that I've had some hearing loss all of my life.  It was in the mild-to-moderate range most of the time.  I learned to adapt, and became quite the lip reader without even realizing it.

Over time, as with most body parts, my ears got worse and finally, after Brad asked for the 1,000th time, I made an appointment with audiology.  He was sad last summer while we were on vacation and I couldn't hear the loons from our cabin.  And that made me sad.

I'm not sure why I waited.  I certainly knew I was missing out.  There were things I didn't do (or did not enjoy doing) and places I did not go because I knew I'd have trouble hearing.

I kept my appointment and met with an awesome audio-tech named Marlene.  Marlene became the bridge between my old life and my new life.  She performed all kinds of testing, sent me to the audiologist, then brought me back and walked through everything with me.  The kind of loss I have isn't a straight line, profound loss.  It's a crazy graph.  I can hear some things just fine, and other things not at all.  I can't hear much directly behind me.  This kind of loss would limit the types of hearing aid available to me, but could make me eligible for cochlear implants at some point in the next few years.

So we tried out the first aids and it was crazy.  Suddenly, I could hear freaking everything.  EVERYTHING.  We walked out into the lobby of the medical center so she could gauge how I was doing with them.  Who knew people shuffle their feet so much?  Does every door slam so loudly?  Must people laugh at the top of their lungs?  Funny story >>> we were near the front desk and she had me with my back to that area to determine if I could clearly hear the people speaking.  I could then I told her we should leave before we had a HIPAA violation.  She started laughing and asked "Who says that?  You work in insurance?" <<< compliance people can be funny :)

We tested another type, went on another lobby field trip (with no HIPAA violations) and that was it.  I found the ones I liked best.  She measured my ears, had me choose a color, and I ordered them (they are not inexpensive, but there are different price ranges and plans and whatever people might need to get there).

When I picked them up, she advised me to wear them all the time right away and that while it would be overwhelming, I needed to get used to them.  So I followed her instructions and wore them in the car on the 15 minute drive back to work.  My head nearly exploded from the noise, but I kept them in.  Who knew how loud the road was???

The first days were literally exhausting and overwhelming.  I was learning to hear all over again and everything sounded so loud and almost artificial.  Marlene and I met two weeks later to touch base and for her to make a few adjustments so things would sound more "normal".

While it might not have seemed like a big deal to anyone else, it's been huge for me.  I realized how stressed I was at work in some meetings and when I interacted with some people.  Now, I don't even think about it and I'm no longer stressed about whether I'll get everything.  I wear them outside and am amazed at how many varieties of birds we have here.  I wear them in church and can hear everyone who speaks from any spot in the sanctuary.  They really gave me my life back.

I've been pondering what held me back.  Not really vanity - I don't care who can see them.  Cost to some extent, but we managed and I am forever grateful to my husband for helping me.  I don't know.  I do wish I had done this sooner, though.  I missed so much.

If you're contemplating making a life-altering change - I say to you - do it.  It just might make all the difference.

xo

Feed my Soul

So...I went to a new church today.  And I can't tell you how good it felt (and still feels).

I was raised in one faith and quit a long time ago.  There was not - and still is not - a place at their table for everyone, and that did not work for me.

After a long break without any real religion and my soul desperately wanting to be fed, I joined the Protestant church (UCC) in 2002 and found what I needed.  I was a member until 2013, when it stopped being the right place for me.  I left behind many wonderful and gifted people, but it no longer felt like the place I had originally loved.

I found that, while I missed attending worship, I loved not having to be anywhere on Sunday mornings and that suited me just fine.  I could go outside and feed my soul during a walk in the woods or just sitting with my husband having coffee.  I was good.

In October 2016 we attended a benefit for the North Reading Food Pantry, hosted by Aldersgate United Methodist Church (Taste of North Reading).  We were looking forward to sampling food from local eateries and supporting the food pantry.  The event did not disappoint.  Yummy food, super cool raffle baskets (we won 3!) and some incredibly nice people.  The Aldersgate Pastor, Rachel Fisher, and her husband Sam kept us company during dinner.  They might have sat at any table - I think they knew everyone in the room.  Instead, they ate with two strangers.  I felt like I had known them forever by the time dinner was over.

That night, for the first time in a long time, I missed being part of a church family.  My husband suggested I visit Aldersgate, seeing as how I now knew the Pastor and it's very close to where we live.  I hesitated a little, because I wasn't clear on where the Methodist church stood on inclusion - that is very important to me.  As soon as I visited the church's website, I knew - they have a statement of inclusion posted right on the home page.  I was so happy to see that & it sealed the deal.

In November, I brought my little card business to the Aldersgate holiday fair.  Not only did I sell some cards, I met many nice people.  I was ready to go back to church and was going to this church -- as soon as the holiday season was behind me.

I had resolved to attend on New Year's Day - figuring it would be a great way to kick off the new year.  As fate would have it, Pastor Rachel chose New Year's Eve morning to reach out to see how I was and to see if I was planning a visit.  Good thing she did.  When I told her my plans, she let me know that worship had been moved back to Saturday morning, so that everyone could sleep in on New Year's day.  I laugh thinking of myself sitting in an empty parking lot on New Year's Day had she not written.

This morning I was so looking forward to going.  I was greeted warmly by everyone I passed.  Worship was joyous.  Words to hymns were projected on the wall so we all looked up and sang - no heads buried in hymnals.  A confession here: I almost never sing out loud when other people can hear me.  I cannot carry a tune in a bucket.  I'm usually like Milli Vanilli, - just moving my lips.  That is, until today.  I actually sang out loud.  It didn't seem to matter who might hear - everyone was singing and it was impossible not to join in. 

After worship I met more people and Pastor Rachel presented me with a Welcome gift.  Beneath the bright issue inside the gift bag was an AUMC pencil, a small candle, and a book by Max Lucado (He Did This Just for You).  My gift bag is the right combination for reflective reading and prayer and learning.  Such a thoughtful gesture of welcome. 

I am looking forward to more Sundays and to becoming involved.  More than anything, I'm looking forward to being part of a church family again.

If you ever feel there is something missing from your life - I say to you - go exploring to find it...you never know when your soul will finally feel at home.

xo

Little Yellow Pouch

Inspired by Mama Kat's writing prompts (Mama's Losin' It)

Write about your proposal. Were you surprised?

While I had pretty much decided on our first date I was going to marry Brad, it took a while to get there.  When we had been dating about 3 months he gave me a Claddagh ring in a little yellow satiny pouch.  I loved the ring, but made him take back the pouch.  It is refillable I told him.

Seven months later we bought a house and settled into a new life.  Before we bought the house we did talk about getting married.  I wasn't going to push him, but I needed to know he was thinking to same way.  He assured me he was and that was that.  I amazed myself with my patience - I didn't bother him about it at all.

On a rainy morning in August, nearly a year after we moved into our house, I sent him out for a special, locally-produced maple syrup.  He returned, presented me with a different syrup and the yellow satin pouch.  

When I finally turned my attention from the wrong syrup to the pouch, I was completely surprised.  Inside was a beautiful engagement ring - just what I wanted.  I'd never been engaged before, and it was awesome...exciting and surreal and crazy and wonderful.

What made the day even more special was that it was my grandparents' wedding anniversary.  They have both been gone for some time and Brad had no idea.

And that was the story of our engagement and the beginning of the next incredible leg of our journey.

If  you think life doesn't hold any happy surprises for you - I say to you - oh yes it does.  Be sure to keep yourself open to receiving them.

xo

 

The last time my heart melted was because...

Inspired by Mama's Losing It writing prompts

#1) The last time my heart melted was because

I met my husband 7 years ago and he's probably caused my heart to melt 8 zillion times.  He is a kind and good man.  There is one time though, that really stands out.  I still can't tell the story without tearing up.

During the summer of 2014 we were vacationing in the Rangeley region of Maine.  If you have never been and you love the peace and beauty of the Maine woods, I highly recommend it.  If you have been, you know that the Appalachian Trail runs right through Rangeley.  It is not uncommon to see hikers around town, eating or walking or resting - they are easily recognizable.  Personally, I know that kind of hiking is beyond anything I could do and I greatly admire these folks for taking on this kind of challenge.

One night, we were finishing dinner at a local pub (Sarge's, if you ever visit and need an incredible burger).  It was late and the place was quiet.  A young man walked in, a hiker.  He asked if it would be alright for him to charge his phone and would there be any cost.  The bartender told him it was fine to charge, and there was certainly no cost.  The hiker asked for a glass of water and hung out while his phone charged.

There was something about this hiker.  He was young.  He looked like he needed a warm shower and a hot meal.  He was also pretty peaceful looking.  As if not having a shower or dinner or anything was fine - he was on this incredible hike in a beautiful place - and that was enough.

My husband called our server over and told her to have him order something to eat and add it to our bill.  I choked up right there and our server got all misty herself.  She relayed the offer and the hiker ordered an appetizer, then thanked us.

It was an appetizer.  To some people, not a big deal.  To this hiker, an unexpected act of kindness and some hot food.  To me, a reminder that giving doesn't have to come with balloons and front page coverage - it has to come from the heart.  And my heart melts every time I think about that night.

If you think the little things don't matter - I say to you - think again, because you never know how much they do.

xo

Good-bye 2015

I am one of those people who might make resolutions at the start of a new calendar year, or might make them at the start of my new year on my birthday, or might not make any and be fine with that.  When I have made them, they aren't any kind of organized list, but more like some general things I need to change or work on.

These last couple days I've been feeling somewhat reflective.  Maybe it's the post-Christmas quiet.  Maybe it was all the time I had in the car yesterday when we experienced our first snow/ice storm and people lost their minds on the roads, which resulted in absurd traffic problems.  Not sure what's up, but I am thinking that maybe making a couple changes might help.  Conversely,  there are also things I'm not going to change (like using too many words when I write and talking about cats all the time).

Most of what has brought me to this place is sleep deprivation.  For a long time, one of my cats has been having a tough time getting through the night without waking me up 2, 3, 4+ times.  It reached a point where I nearly couldn't function each day from being so sleep deprived.  And I am not exaggerating - I wasn't sleeping more than 2 hours at a time all night then working all day.  I was dragging myself through every day just waiting to get into bed, yet dreading it because I knew she'd start with the waking me up crap.  Finally, I tried some behavior modification then met with her vet.  She is improving and we're down to (generally) 1 or 2 wake-ups each night.  I'm still not getting enough uninterrupted sleep, but there is progress.

Because I am always so tired, I've cut back on exercising, which is something I very much enjoy.  When I can drag myself out of bed, I'll go down to our basement at 5 a.m. and row.  I really love it - and my day is always better when I start that way.  I am going to make more of an effort to get myself up, no matter how tired I am, and start each day in a way that ultimately makes me happy.

I've also been just wading through my days without taking enjoyment from things the way I want to.  I have so many blessings, yet I'm not fully embracing what I have -- again -- because  I am exhausted.  I promise to step back and appreciate what's right in front of me.

The other thing I'm going to do is find some photo challenges (and I'm going to invited my photo-taking friends to join in).  Looking for specific things to photograph a couple times a week or on weekends will be fun and it will get me outside during the icky winter months.  It will be even better if I'm doing the challenge with others.

And that's it.  I am ready for 2016. 

If you think you don't need to take a look at how things are every now and again, I say to you, give yourself a mental checkup once in a while - it will be good for your soul.

Happy New Year friends xo

 

De Unplugged

Folks who know me know  I love Facebook.  I love checking up on everyone and looking at cat pictures.  I love keeping in touch this way.

When I say "love", I mean "I-must-check-it-every-8-minutes-just-in-case-something-new-happened".  As if something could happen on Facebook without my knowing.

And it's not just Facebook.  I love checking the news and the weather and Instagram and Twitter and email.  I love being connected.

One day in late July, we were in Cabela's and they had this life-sized display right at the entrance encouraging people to taking a pledge to disconnect and get outside.  I walked by then took out my phone to check Facebook.

Later on while walking through the store, the words on the sign kept coming back to me.

I, (Your Name), PLEDGE to myself and to my family, for which I stand, that for one day I will unplug it, power it off, and shut it down, in order to look up and look around. I will set aside the small screen to once again see the big picture. On this day I will not use any smart phones, tablets, tablets, desktops, laptops, notebooks, video chats, instant messaging, emails, tweets, grams that are instant, links that are in, or faces that have been booked. And most of all, I pledge to get my head out of my app, with liberty and just us, for all.

And it hit me---I.  Could.  Do.  This.  Why not?  I would disconnect for a whole (weekend) day.

And I did.  The following Sunday I was almost completely disconnected.  I did send one birthday email and one instant message, but both were emergencies and I had the authority to make those exceptions.  You know what?  I enjoyed it.

I found that I didn't miss having my phone in my hand.  I didn't miss the endless negative and nasty posts and drama.  I didn't miss reading that my political party is wrong and my diet is wrong and things and people I like are wrong.  I needed a break from seeing so many animals needing homes.  It can all become almost depressing after a while.

At the end of the day, I felt more relaxed.  I did miss knowing what was going on (a little) and I hoped if anyone needed me no one thought I was ignoring them.  It turns out the on-line world kept going without me.  No one needed me and it was all good.

A couple of weeks later, I did it again.  This time, there were no exceptions.  I was 100% unplugged.  It felt good again.  I sat outside just reading, got some chores done and was amazed at all the "extra" time I had.

I am going to do it again (tomorrow).  Join me.  Go here, read about it & change your Facebook cover photo to let everyone know where you'll be (I'm using the "instagraham" photo).  Then unplug and enjoy life off-line for one day.  If you think things won't work if you aren't present, I say to you, sure they will - try it and see.

xo

Beauty Blog: Alaska Glacial Mud Company

I have never written a beauty blog before -- or any blog other than to share my own thoughts. Recently, the Alaska Glacial Mud Company was looking for blog writers to indulge in some mud, and blog. I jumped at the chance - because...I.  Love.  Their.  Mud. 

Go check out their website.  Go now...I'll wait. :) 

Turns out, they were looking for beauty bloggers, and I had to explain that I was not one, but that I loved their product. So Lauren, the company president, took a chance and let me test & write. 

A little backstory so you'll know how I managed to fall in love with Alaska Glacial Mud. Since 1998 or so, I've been receiving facials from my dear friend Kerri (visit The Skin Clinique in Melrose MA and tell Kerri I sent you). To some, facials are an indulgence. To me, they are a lifesaver. My skin is sensitive and regular facials help keep it in balance. Spending time with Kerri, while she pampers me, keeps my mental health in check. Win Win Win

Last winter, I asked Kerri for something to help when my skin felt stressed between facials. She suggested Alaska Glacial Mud purifying mineral mud masque in Lavender-Peppermint. She told me it was perfect for between facials and that once a week use would be just right. What Kerri loves about the products is how eco-friendly they are. They use only natural, wild and organic ingredients. They do not use synthetic fragrances, color fillers, parabens or other things that aren't going to help me or the environment. Their products are cruelty-free and allergy tested for all skin types. And they smell sensational. Sold!

I have been using the Lavender/Peppermint regularly and love it. It comes with a wonderful brush, goes on smoothly and washed off easily. My skin never feels tight or dried out afterward. The brush needs a wash in soap and water and it cleans right up.

When I received my test package, it contained three samples of the purifying mineral mud masque: Lavender-Peppermint, Lavender-Vanilla and Unscented along with a wonderful brush. I could hardly wait to try the Lavender-Vanilla and Unscented. I was not at all disappointed. Both did the same awesome job of helping my skin to de-stress while taking care not to leave it dry or overworked. Now I will to keep jars of each on hand because I loved them all.

In addition to the joy of using the purifying mineral mud masque, I was really pleased to learn that this is a company that cares. The mud is harvested from the Copper River Delta in south central Alaska. That's where the company is located. They aren't just asking that the mud be scooped up and sent to -- this is where they live. They are also advocates for the Copper River Delta/Watershed and pledge 10% of their profits to local organizations that love, work and fight for its protection. This make them a great corporate neighbor in my book.

Did I mention that these products are not and should not be limited to use by women only? Men---do this---you will love it. Taking care of your skin is sexy.

Caring for your skin should not be an indulgence - it should be part of each day. If you think you don't have time to pamper yourself once a week with an Alaska Glacial Mud purifying mineral mud masque - I say to you - you owe it to yourself to find the time.

I received a sample package of each mineral mud masque and a brush, but the words and opinions above are mine.