I was getting ready to write about how some things are important. A wedding gift we received broke last week and I was very sad about it.
A little back story ... when my cousin Laura got married in 2008, I gave them a gurgling cod pitcher. Laura told me she would give me one when I got married. At that time, I was single and believed I would never get married so I didn't choose a color or anything. Fast forward to 2009 when I brought my new boyfriend to Plymouth to meet my Aunt Nancy, Uncle Ed, Laura and her husband Kevin. As we walked along the beach, Laura asked me what color cod I wanted. I had already decided I was keeping this boyfriend - either he'd marry me or I'd chain him to the basement wall. Laura knew he was the one also. Fast forward again to August 22, 2010 - the day we got engaged. I called Laura and told her to pick out the cod. She and Kevin gave us two small cod as a pre-wedding present & the larger cod for our wedding. They maintained a special place in my heart & on our mantle.
Last week a framed image we had above the mantle fell down. It took the large cod with it. Our wedding cake topper was spared but I felt so sad at the loss of the cod. It can be replaced and I have the story but I still felt sad.
Then last night I saw the horror in Oklahoma. Homes - gone in an instant. Incredible devastation. Children trapped in schools. People missing. The first thing I did when I heard about it on the news was to send prayers. I kept hoping the trapped children would be OK. I kept hoping that families would find one another and that the death toll would not be high. I woke up to mixed news. Sad. My heart hurt looking at the photos. When I saw the video of Barbara Garcia finding her puppy in the rubble I was reminded of what really mattered.
All of the heartache and destruction in Oklahoma slapped me in the back of the head to remind me that it isn't about things. Yes, we can cherish our belongings and feel sad if anything happens to them. At the end of the day though, if my house disappeared, as long as I had Brad and our cats, Camille & Winnie, we would be OK. Brad and the cats are my family and they are what matter.
If you get wrapped up in what you have or what you do not have - I say to you - count the people and not the things and never lose sight of what is really important. ♥
xo
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Cruise Control
People who know me - or more specifically, who have been in the car while I have been driving - know my patience all but disappears when I'm behind the wheel. I have little tolerance for drivers who do not pay attention, who will not use a directional, who make driving the second or third thing they're doing while they are in the car, and who get in my way while doing any combination of these things. I yell, I beep, I show them the state bird. The thing is, I'm not sure why I lose control so easily. Maybe because I think of motor vehicles as dangerous weapons and the users need to be careful. You want to run a stop sign while on the phone and smoking and yapping at your passenger - do it someplace else but do not do it front of me.
Yesterday, my husband and I took my stepdaughter Jill up to Orono, Maine to visit a college. It is a four hour trip each way. I demanded that he split the driving with me. He really does not enjoy my driving and considering how patient a man he is, well .... He finally agreed. Because the roads were dry and there was very light volume, he suggested I just set cruise control and relax. We had many miles of moose warnings and I really needed to keep my eyes on the sides of the road and not the speedometer. Cruise control it was. And what a difference. I found myself far more relaxed than I ever am in the car. I did the same thing on the way home and again found myself much more relaxed than I was used to. Why do I never use it? What a waste of a neat feature.
This morning I did it on the way to church, and again it worked! I relaxed. I had my speed set and what everyone else was doing really was not my problem. I just did my own thing and made my way without incident (and with lower blood pressure).
During my drive I was thinking about cruise control, both in the car and in my life. Over the last two days it has really been great in the car. But when I looked at my life I realized that I've been too much on cruise control lately and have not been as in tune as I needed to be. I've been out of work for 13 months and the search process has been exhausting and dehumanizing to say the least. In late January I began two classes toward a paralegal certificate. In addition to spending a couple of hours each day on my job search, I now spend 5-6 hours per day on school work. I am doing really well in both classes and am pretty proud of myself, but I put my life on cruise control to do it and I am not sure it was the best idea.
I love going to the gym, especially spinning. Yet, for the last few weeks, at the end of each day I am so exhausted, I have not been going. I have sacrificed my fitness because I had to hit cruise control to keep myself on track. The thing is, I miss it so much but cannot seem to make myself go. And that bothers me.
So I'm done with cruise control outside of the car for now. Tomorrow night I will be back on the bike where I belong. My school work and job search and laundry and house cleaning will also be done, but if they are not, it will be OK. I have another chance on Tuesday to get everything done.
I think it is very easy to get into a rut. In fact, I know it is easy. Getting out should be just as easy. All I have to do is tap the brake and cruise control turns off.
If you find yourself needing to let go of a little control or needing to take some back - I say to you - look at your cruise control. If it is on, tap the brake. If it's off, set it and make your life a little bit easier.
xo
Yesterday, my husband and I took my stepdaughter Jill up to Orono, Maine to visit a college. It is a four hour trip each way. I demanded that he split the driving with me. He really does not enjoy my driving and considering how patient a man he is, well .... He finally agreed. Because the roads were dry and there was very light volume, he suggested I just set cruise control and relax. We had many miles of moose warnings and I really needed to keep my eyes on the sides of the road and not the speedometer. Cruise control it was. And what a difference. I found myself far more relaxed than I ever am in the car. I did the same thing on the way home and again found myself much more relaxed than I was used to. Why do I never use it? What a waste of a neat feature.
This morning I did it on the way to church, and again it worked! I relaxed. I had my speed set and what everyone else was doing really was not my problem. I just did my own thing and made my way without incident (and with lower blood pressure).
During my drive I was thinking about cruise control, both in the car and in my life. Over the last two days it has really been great in the car. But when I looked at my life I realized that I've been too much on cruise control lately and have not been as in tune as I needed to be. I've been out of work for 13 months and the search process has been exhausting and dehumanizing to say the least. In late January I began two classes toward a paralegal certificate. In addition to spending a couple of hours each day on my job search, I now spend 5-6 hours per day on school work. I am doing really well in both classes and am pretty proud of myself, but I put my life on cruise control to do it and I am not sure it was the best idea.
I love going to the gym, especially spinning. Yet, for the last few weeks, at the end of each day I am so exhausted, I have not been going. I have sacrificed my fitness because I had to hit cruise control to keep myself on track. The thing is, I miss it so much but cannot seem to make myself go. And that bothers me.
So I'm done with cruise control outside of the car for now. Tomorrow night I will be back on the bike where I belong. My school work and job search and laundry and house cleaning will also be done, but if they are not, it will be OK. I have another chance on Tuesday to get everything done.
I think it is very easy to get into a rut. In fact, I know it is easy. Getting out should be just as easy. All I have to do is tap the brake and cruise control turns off.
If you find yourself needing to let go of a little control or needing to take some back - I say to you - look at your cruise control. If it is on, tap the brake. If it's off, set it and make your life a little bit easier.
xo
Saturday, March 9, 2013
I miss ... you
Ever just miss someone all of a sudden? Maybe it was a song or a smell or a flower that reminded you of them. Maybe it's their birthday. Or an anniversary. Or maybe you just miss them.
I, like many others, miss people who were special to me and who have passed away. Some have been gone for a long time. My mother's mother died when I was not quite 3. I was her first grandchild and from what I have been told, I spent quite a bit of time with her. I remember a few little, random things - this park we used to visit in Winchester (I really just remember weeping willows - my mother told me where we went) and the little Dachshund we used to see. What I do believe I remember is the day she died. She wanted to see me but because I was a child I was not allowed in the hospital. I remember being in the parking lot with my dad and seeing her up in the window. I have a pretty good memory so it might be real, even though I was so young. She's been gone almost 47 years and I miss her. I think I miss the relationship I know we would have had. She never met my brothers and she would have adored them. Her birthday is next month and I still note it on my calendar.
My dad's mother died in 2005 and I miss her very much. Today, March 9, is her 104th birthday. It makes me sad that she never met my niece, Shannon and she never met my husband. They both would have charmed her socks off. She taught me to crochet and whenever I do I feel close to her. I often use the first hook she gave me - it was her favorite and it is mine. She hated the idea of cooking with fake substitutions - she believed natural was better. I used to roll my eyes at her and preach low-fat this and low-fat that. She'd roll her eyes right back and tell me real ingredients were better. You know what - she was right. I prepare more healthy recipes using fewer "fake" elements and better natural ingredients.
I also miss people who are still living. I do not get to see them often or often enough. Most live close by and the business of life rips the time from the calendar at an alarming speed. Our visits become fewer and farther between. It is also very easy to get wrapped up in our own schedules and patterns...it is sometimes very difficult to even think about veering away from what we always do to make time for anything else. I am not sure if that is a casualty of growing older - we don't remember how to just let go. What's the harm in meeting for coffee or ice cream or a short walk. Will everything break or stop working or grind to a halt. Nope. I think that, as we age, we need each other to help keep grounded. I have a husband who never skips a chance to hug and I love that. But I also love hugging my female friends. It's a special bond we have where sometimes a hug is all we need.
I am vowing to see people I miss more. When some of you hear me forcing you to meet me despite schedule issues and whatever - know it is because I miss you. Ask my sister-in-law Erin - my mother and I were having lunch last week and I asked Erin to join us. I felt like seeing her. I do not get to spend much time with her and I felt that morning that I really wanted her to join us. So I gave her two hours notice and she beat us to the restaurant. I was very happy she did that. Yes - she had 957 other things to do, but she put them aside for a little bit and the three of us had fun.
As a Christian, the season of Lent has me thinking of many things. I am not one of those "must-give-up-everything-and-then-whine-about-it" types. I like thinking of making other changes. Giving up unhealthy things or habits. And cleaning. Spring Cleaning. Lent is a time to put away what we can do without, so we can be free to focus on getting ready for the joy of Easter - it is the right time to spring clean our souls and our minds. The United Church Of Christ, to which I belong, is doing a great Spring Clean for Lent. It was today's posting that made me think of the other side of missing people -- the people I have on the edge of my life who probably don't need to be there any more. Maybe at one time we were close but we are not now. Maybe we only caught up from time to time but now we do not. I learned this lesson some time ago, so that is a short list. This is the time - my spring cleaning. I don't miss them and, obviously, they do not miss me. Our guide for today: Lent Day 24 (22) (3/9/13): Say goodbye to someone you need to say goodbye to. Whatever the circumstances, good or bad, remember that “goodbye” comes from “God be with you.”
Time flies by so quickly and nothing much is guaranteed. Bring people closer or let them go. Make the time for people who are important. If you are not sure you can let go - I say to you - "God be with you" is not the worst way to send someone off into the world.
xo
I, like many others, miss people who were special to me and who have passed away. Some have been gone for a long time. My mother's mother died when I was not quite 3. I was her first grandchild and from what I have been told, I spent quite a bit of time with her. I remember a few little, random things - this park we used to visit in Winchester (I really just remember weeping willows - my mother told me where we went) and the little Dachshund we used to see. What I do believe I remember is the day she died. She wanted to see me but because I was a child I was not allowed in the hospital. I remember being in the parking lot with my dad and seeing her up in the window. I have a pretty good memory so it might be real, even though I was so young. She's been gone almost 47 years and I miss her. I think I miss the relationship I know we would have had. She never met my brothers and she would have adored them. Her birthday is next month and I still note it on my calendar.
My dad's mother died in 2005 and I miss her very much. Today, March 9, is her 104th birthday. It makes me sad that she never met my niece, Shannon and she never met my husband. They both would have charmed her socks off. She taught me to crochet and whenever I do I feel close to her. I often use the first hook she gave me - it was her favorite and it is mine. She hated the idea of cooking with fake substitutions - she believed natural was better. I used to roll my eyes at her and preach low-fat this and low-fat that. She'd roll her eyes right back and tell me real ingredients were better. You know what - she was right. I prepare more healthy recipes using fewer "fake" elements and better natural ingredients.
I also miss people who are still living. I do not get to see them often or often enough. Most live close by and the business of life rips the time from the calendar at an alarming speed. Our visits become fewer and farther between. It is also very easy to get wrapped up in our own schedules and patterns...it is sometimes very difficult to even think about veering away from what we always do to make time for anything else. I am not sure if that is a casualty of growing older - we don't remember how to just let go. What's the harm in meeting for coffee or ice cream or a short walk. Will everything break or stop working or grind to a halt. Nope. I think that, as we age, we need each other to help keep grounded. I have a husband who never skips a chance to hug and I love that. But I also love hugging my female friends. It's a special bond we have where sometimes a hug is all we need.
I am vowing to see people I miss more. When some of you hear me forcing you to meet me despite schedule issues and whatever - know it is because I miss you. Ask my sister-in-law Erin - my mother and I were having lunch last week and I asked Erin to join us. I felt like seeing her. I do not get to spend much time with her and I felt that morning that I really wanted her to join us. So I gave her two hours notice and she beat us to the restaurant. I was very happy she did that. Yes - she had 957 other things to do, but she put them aside for a little bit and the three of us had fun.
As a Christian, the season of Lent has me thinking of many things. I am not one of those "must-give-up-everything-and-then-whine-about-it" types. I like thinking of making other changes. Giving up unhealthy things or habits. And cleaning. Spring Cleaning. Lent is a time to put away what we can do without, so we can be free to focus on getting ready for the joy of Easter - it is the right time to spring clean our souls and our minds. The United Church Of Christ, to which I belong, is doing a great Spring Clean for Lent. It was today's posting that made me think of the other side of missing people -- the people I have on the edge of my life who probably don't need to be there any more. Maybe at one time we were close but we are not now. Maybe we only caught up from time to time but now we do not. I learned this lesson some time ago, so that is a short list. This is the time - my spring cleaning. I don't miss them and, obviously, they do not miss me. Our guide for today: Lent Day 24 (22) (3/9/13): Say goodbye to someone you need to say goodbye to. Whatever the circumstances, good or bad, remember that “goodbye” comes from “God be with you.”
Time flies by so quickly and nothing much is guaranteed. Bring people closer or let them go. Make the time for people who are important. If you are not sure you can let go - I say to you - "God be with you" is not the worst way to send someone off into the world.
xo
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Crazy? Cat Lady? I'm not worthy.
I remember having pets when I was younger ...Smokey...Peter the Girl...Spotty...Princess...Thumper. I remember the pets my folks had after I moved ... Mittens & Logan.
What I don't remember is how much I loved them. Did they sleep with me? Did I talk to them and play with them? While many young girls were developing their love for animals - through horses it seemed - I was developing a love for Donny Osmond and David Cassidy. I liked our pets and I could not watch any film where animals were harmed. As a matter of fact, to this day, I can't get through Bambi or Dumbo without bawling. But did I really have a strong love for the animals in my life? I do not remember that I did.
In 1987 I took a giant step and moved into my very first apartment. And for some reason never known to me, I decided I HAD to have a cat as soon as I got settled. So off to the shelter I went. I was suddenly overwhelmed. Cage after cage of cats who needed homes and me - not able to take them all. I visited with a few and when one actually curled up on my lap and fell asleep I knew who was coming home with me. I named her Emily. She was a sweet little calico - double-clawed on all four paws. Because her only daytime friends were chipmunks, she began communicating with me using the clicking noises chipmunks make. She was so adorable. But she was also pretty sick, which I did not know. I didn't have for her quite a year when I lost her suddenly. I was so heartbroken.
Not long after I lost Em I learned of a young female who had been abandoned at the Stoneham Animal Hospital and was ready to be homed. She was the office cat and at only 6 months old and they wanted her to be in a home, but so far no one had been interested. I went to meet her and fell in love. I took her home, named her Allie, and spent the next 18 years as her companion. As I think about many of those years, I honestly don't think I fully appreciated her. She met me at the door every night - how many nights did I just drop my stuff and walk by her? She also slept with me every night - not just on the bed but either up against me or on me. Did I understand how lucky I was? No. I recall it bothered me sometimes and I would put her out of my room and close the door. How undeserving was I. I didn't deserve the gift of her but she never gave up on me. I finally did learn to appreciate her, though. As we both aged I saw what a blessing she was. Together we dealt with terrible relationship issues, two moves, a break in, cancer and death. No matter what was being thrown at me, Allie was right there to remind me that I was not alone. During the spring of 2006, she got sick. She was almost 19 then and she didn't linger long. I buried her in the yard at my parents' home and I visit with her there often. I placed a small stone to mark her resting spot - it depicts a dragonfly with the words "time passes - love remains". I always think of her when I see a dragonfly. Dragonflies live short lives and they remind us to make the most of the short time we have.
To say I was heartbroken after losing Allie is an understatement. For two weeks I was unable to touch any of her things. I finally asked my mother to remove her favorite blanket while I was not home, because I didn't have the heart to do it. I still have her little bowl - I could not part with it. I cannot think of her without missing her even now.
In late spring of 2006 I knew I needed another companion - I lived alone and missed having another breathing creature in my apartment. This time, I wasn't letting myself miss out of anything. I would find a new cat and make the most of all of our time. Claire, from the Melrose Humane Society, had a male who was looking for someone like me. Arthur needed a quiet place - no kids & no other pets. I prepared to meet him and to take him home. When you go to meet a pet in a shelter or in a foster home, you really need to be ready to take them. So I picked up a nice blue place mat & blue bowls along with a sweet little blue blanket. Thing is - Arthur didn't really care for me. He actually hissed at me when I met him. Was he in touch with the men I had been dating??? Hmmmm
Claire told me about a female she had. Two years old - had been abandoned right before she had a small litter of kittens. Her kittens had all been adopted but she was having trouble being placed. It seemed she was kind of shy and wasn't good with other animals - they bullied her and she did not defend herself. I met her and that was that. I brought her home, renamed her Camille, and she still rules my life. I felt badly that all she had were blue things - I did get her a pink blanket. She had been abused and flinched when I reached for her. She spent the first three days with me hiding beneath my dresser. She eventually came around and filled the gap Allie's death left. She's very social and lovable & has become even more so as we enter middle age together.
Thing is, I thought her easy-going personality would be right for me to bring another member into our family. A couple weeks ago, almost against my own will, I found myself typing into PetFinder "female - special needs" I honestly think it was some kind of out-of-body experience. I wasn't looking for another cat. I had not even discussed the idea with my husband. I just did it and there was Winnie. I first fell in love with her face then her name then her story. Her face is precious. Her coloring is beautiful and her eyes are so green. Her name - my aunt's mother was named Winnie and I took it as a positive sign. Her story - she was rescued from a kill shelter with one day left, lived with her saviors, was adopted then returned, then she moved to a foster home. This little girl needed a place where she could settle down. She has mild cerebellar hypoplasia (CH) which isn't really causing any issues. She wobbles & sometimes falls over but she's fine on the stairs and she can jump up on the bed or onto chairs & she can get around OK. She has made herself completely at home and we're very glad. Camille is very s l o w l y coming around to her - we still have quite a way to go - but I have faith in my girl and I think she will come to love Winn.
Before I met my husband I declared - out loud - that I was done dating and would get the requisite number of cats to qualify as a crazy cat lady and live my life out with them as my only companions. I know that I can just be crazy - I don't need cats to confirm that. I also know that Cat Lady has many negative connotations but I have two and I love them so whatever. I also know I'm not worthy. They really do give me so much and I try hard to give it back but I don't think I quite make it. I will always try to make up for not appreciating what I had before - that's my tribute to Allie.
If you think you're crazy or you think you don't have enough love to go around - I say to you - remember the lesson of the dragonfly. Life is short - live yours as best you can.
xo
What I don't remember is how much I loved them. Did they sleep with me? Did I talk to them and play with them? While many young girls were developing their love for animals - through horses it seemed - I was developing a love for Donny Osmond and David Cassidy. I liked our pets and I could not watch any film where animals were harmed. As a matter of fact, to this day, I can't get through Bambi or Dumbo without bawling. But did I really have a strong love for the animals in my life? I do not remember that I did.
In 1987 I took a giant step and moved into my very first apartment. And for some reason never known to me, I decided I HAD to have a cat as soon as I got settled. So off to the shelter I went. I was suddenly overwhelmed. Cage after cage of cats who needed homes and me - not able to take them all. I visited with a few and when one actually curled up on my lap and fell asleep I knew who was coming home with me. I named her Emily. She was a sweet little calico - double-clawed on all four paws. Because her only daytime friends were chipmunks, she began communicating with me using the clicking noises chipmunks make. She was so adorable. But she was also pretty sick, which I did not know. I didn't have for her quite a year when I lost her suddenly. I was so heartbroken.
Not long after I lost Em I learned of a young female who had been abandoned at the Stoneham Animal Hospital and was ready to be homed. She was the office cat and at only 6 months old and they wanted her to be in a home, but so far no one had been interested. I went to meet her and fell in love. I took her home, named her Allie, and spent the next 18 years as her companion. As I think about many of those years, I honestly don't think I fully appreciated her. She met me at the door every night - how many nights did I just drop my stuff and walk by her? She also slept with me every night - not just on the bed but either up against me or on me. Did I understand how lucky I was? No. I recall it bothered me sometimes and I would put her out of my room and close the door. How undeserving was I. I didn't deserve the gift of her but she never gave up on me. I finally did learn to appreciate her, though. As we both aged I saw what a blessing she was. Together we dealt with terrible relationship issues, two moves, a break in, cancer and death. No matter what was being thrown at me, Allie was right there to remind me that I was not alone. During the spring of 2006, she got sick. She was almost 19 then and she didn't linger long. I buried her in the yard at my parents' home and I visit with her there often. I placed a small stone to mark her resting spot - it depicts a dragonfly with the words "time passes - love remains". I always think of her when I see a dragonfly. Dragonflies live short lives and they remind us to make the most of the short time we have.
To say I was heartbroken after losing Allie is an understatement. For two weeks I was unable to touch any of her things. I finally asked my mother to remove her favorite blanket while I was not home, because I didn't have the heart to do it. I still have her little bowl - I could not part with it. I cannot think of her without missing her even now.
In late spring of 2006 I knew I needed another companion - I lived alone and missed having another breathing creature in my apartment. This time, I wasn't letting myself miss out of anything. I would find a new cat and make the most of all of our time. Claire, from the Melrose Humane Society, had a male who was looking for someone like me. Arthur needed a quiet place - no kids & no other pets. I prepared to meet him and to take him home. When you go to meet a pet in a shelter or in a foster home, you really need to be ready to take them. So I picked up a nice blue place mat & blue bowls along with a sweet little blue blanket. Thing is - Arthur didn't really care for me. He actually hissed at me when I met him. Was he in touch with the men I had been dating??? Hmmmm
Claire told me about a female she had. Two years old - had been abandoned right before she had a small litter of kittens. Her kittens had all been adopted but she was having trouble being placed. It seemed she was kind of shy and wasn't good with other animals - they bullied her and she did not defend herself. I met her and that was that. I brought her home, renamed her Camille, and she still rules my life. I felt badly that all she had were blue things - I did get her a pink blanket. She had been abused and flinched when I reached for her. She spent the first three days with me hiding beneath my dresser. She eventually came around and filled the gap Allie's death left. She's very social and lovable & has become even more so as we enter middle age together.
Thing is, I thought her easy-going personality would be right for me to bring another member into our family. A couple weeks ago, almost against my own will, I found myself typing into PetFinder "female - special needs" I honestly think it was some kind of out-of-body experience. I wasn't looking for another cat. I had not even discussed the idea with my husband. I just did it and there was Winnie. I first fell in love with her face then her name then her story. Her face is precious. Her coloring is beautiful and her eyes are so green. Her name - my aunt's mother was named Winnie and I took it as a positive sign. Her story - she was rescued from a kill shelter with one day left, lived with her saviors, was adopted then returned, then she moved to a foster home. This little girl needed a place where she could settle down. She has mild cerebellar hypoplasia (CH) which isn't really causing any issues. She wobbles & sometimes falls over but she's fine on the stairs and she can jump up on the bed or onto chairs & she can get around OK. She has made herself completely at home and we're very glad. Camille is very s l o w l y coming around to her - we still have quite a way to go - but I have faith in my girl and I think she will come to love Winn.
Before I met my husband I declared - out loud - that I was done dating and would get the requisite number of cats to qualify as a crazy cat lady and live my life out with them as my only companions. I know that I can just be crazy - I don't need cats to confirm that. I also know that Cat Lady has many negative connotations but I have two and I love them so whatever. I also know I'm not worthy. They really do give me so much and I try hard to give it back but I don't think I quite make it. I will always try to make up for not appreciating what I had before - that's my tribute to Allie.
If you think you're crazy or you think you don't have enough love to go around - I say to you - remember the lesson of the dragonfly. Life is short - live yours as best you can.
xo
 |
| Camille |
 |
| Winnie |
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Days of our Lives
This blog is not about the soap opera, which I watched for years and years by the way - it is about making our days count (and counting them if you want to).
I regularly receive email from a blog I subscribe to entitled Healthy Spirituality. It is thought-provoking and refreshing. The author, Jean Wise, often challenges her readers to look at their spirituality and look at their lives and work to strengthen the spots where the two intersect and the spots where they do not. This is not written for the faith I follow but I find peace in it just the same.
I would have to say I haven't been "spiritual" for very long. I was raised in a faith that did not feed my soul. I didn't agree with much of what I heard and knew. So in 1986 I quit. I was teaching junior high in a faith-based school and the entire religious experience destroyed what was left of my own beliefs. Formally and officially I left. Beginning then, I thought I was just spiritual and not religious, seeing as how I no longer had a religion to call my own. Truth is, what I had was no clue. My spirit was lost and it would be some time before I got it on track. All part of the learning & growing process I guess.
Fast forward to 2001. I visited a church (Melrose Highlands Congregational Church) felt completely welcomed and came to my spiritual home. In March of 2002 I became a member and have been there ever since.
Back to the days of our lives.
In her January 3, 2013 email, Jean Wise wonders why we need to experience a loss or something bad to remember to wake up and embrace life. It's true for me at least. I want to find something wonderful if every day - there IS something wonderful in every day. Just the fact that I am alive is a great place to start. There are blessings all around me all the time and I try very hard to appreciate them. But then I get distracted by non-blessings and I stop paying attention. I get bothered by little things and waste energy on them when I know better not to. Not a good way to live.
Jean notes how many days she has lived and vows not to waste the precious gift of life. As of today (01/06/13), I have lived 17,904 days. I think I calculated it correctly - I did note the leap years. Seventeen thousand nine hundred four - that is a lot of days. Have I appreciated most of them? No, I have not. Will I change that? I sure will try.
The new year is a common time for people to develop resolutions - I see them in action at the gym. Why now? Why not back in August when you realized you were overweight or out of shape or you wanted to take better care of yourself? Why not then? Why wait until January to eat well? Why didn't you do it before? I think many of us are so busy just trying to get from one end of the day to the next that it makes more sense to pick a goal and aim at it. January 1st...no more sweets...gym every day...sleep 13 hours a night...be nice to everyone. OK. Then on January 10th, when things aren't working out so well because the goal was so unreachable, people feel good about trashing their resolutions and going back to complaining about how they want to lose weight and want to eat better and need more sleep. It is a nutty circle of silliness. If I make resolutions I tend to make them on my birthday, which is my new year. And I keep them private - it's just me having to answer to myself. Do you make resolutions? How do you do keeping them?
I also think resolutions are a way to make sure you get more out of our days. "I will eat better" might translate to "I will spend meaningful time planning a menu, making healthy food choices, taking better care of me and my family, enjoy preparing our meals" We're all busy. My ears bleed when I hear people piss and moan about how they can't do anything because they are too busy. Hey - you drive the train - you want to fill your time so you can use it as an excuse, go right on and do it - no skin off my nose. Are you making the most of your days though?
I saw this neat idea - set out a jar and beginning on January 1, fill it with notes you write. The notes are the blessings you found in the day or something good that happened. On New Year's Eve, dump the jar and read the notes. You can enjoy reviewing your year and see just how blessed you are. So I told my husband this would be happening. And I set out a jar (of sorts). And it has two notes in it that I wrote. Two? We are six days into this year - why aren't there at least six notes? What am I doing? It was my idea and I'm not doing it. I know the last 6 days have been filled with many good things. No - unicorns don't wake me up each day and things are not perfect - but they don't need to be. I can still be blessed and I am going to fill that jar.
I want to make the most of as many days as I have left. I want to have to get another jar before December because mine is too full to hold all the notes. I'd like to see a unicorn and maybe one day I will. If you're not sure about making the most of your days or meeting your resolutions - I say to you - just do it. One day at a time. Waking up is an automatic blessing ~ it will keep getting better from there.
xo
PS - the photo is of our January 1st blessing ~ Winnie. She's a sweet little girl who just joined our family. Camille isn't that fond of her but she will come around. ~^..^~
I regularly receive email from a blog I subscribe to entitled Healthy Spirituality. It is thought-provoking and refreshing. The author, Jean Wise, often challenges her readers to look at their spirituality and look at their lives and work to strengthen the spots where the two intersect and the spots where they do not. This is not written for the faith I follow but I find peace in it just the same.
I would have to say I haven't been "spiritual" for very long. I was raised in a faith that did not feed my soul. I didn't agree with much of what I heard and knew. So in 1986 I quit. I was teaching junior high in a faith-based school and the entire religious experience destroyed what was left of my own beliefs. Formally and officially I left. Beginning then, I thought I was just spiritual and not religious, seeing as how I no longer had a religion to call my own. Truth is, what I had was no clue. My spirit was lost and it would be some time before I got it on track. All part of the learning & growing process I guess.
Fast forward to 2001. I visited a church (Melrose Highlands Congregational Church) felt completely welcomed and came to my spiritual home. In March of 2002 I became a member and have been there ever since.
Back to the days of our lives.
In her January 3, 2013 email, Jean Wise wonders why we need to experience a loss or something bad to remember to wake up and embrace life. It's true for me at least. I want to find something wonderful if every day - there IS something wonderful in every day. Just the fact that I am alive is a great place to start. There are blessings all around me all the time and I try very hard to appreciate them. But then I get distracted by non-blessings and I stop paying attention. I get bothered by little things and waste energy on them when I know better not to. Not a good way to live.
Jean notes how many days she has lived and vows not to waste the precious gift of life. As of today (01/06/13), I have lived 17,904 days. I think I calculated it correctly - I did note the leap years. Seventeen thousand nine hundred four - that is a lot of days. Have I appreciated most of them? No, I have not. Will I change that? I sure will try.
The new year is a common time for people to develop resolutions - I see them in action at the gym. Why now? Why not back in August when you realized you were overweight or out of shape or you wanted to take better care of yourself? Why not then? Why wait until January to eat well? Why didn't you do it before? I think many of us are so busy just trying to get from one end of the day to the next that it makes more sense to pick a goal and aim at it. January 1st...no more sweets...gym every day...sleep 13 hours a night...be nice to everyone. OK. Then on January 10th, when things aren't working out so well because the goal was so unreachable, people feel good about trashing their resolutions and going back to complaining about how they want to lose weight and want to eat better and need more sleep. It is a nutty circle of silliness. If I make resolutions I tend to make them on my birthday, which is my new year. And I keep them private - it's just me having to answer to myself. Do you make resolutions? How do you do keeping them?
I also think resolutions are a way to make sure you get more out of our days. "I will eat better" might translate to "I will spend meaningful time planning a menu, making healthy food choices, taking better care of me and my family, enjoy preparing our meals" We're all busy. My ears bleed when I hear people piss and moan about how they can't do anything because they are too busy. Hey - you drive the train - you want to fill your time so you can use it as an excuse, go right on and do it - no skin off my nose. Are you making the most of your days though?
I saw this neat idea - set out a jar and beginning on January 1, fill it with notes you write. The notes are the blessings you found in the day or something good that happened. On New Year's Eve, dump the jar and read the notes. You can enjoy reviewing your year and see just how blessed you are. So I told my husband this would be happening. And I set out a jar (of sorts). And it has two notes in it that I wrote. Two? We are six days into this year - why aren't there at least six notes? What am I doing? It was my idea and I'm not doing it. I know the last 6 days have been filled with many good things. No - unicorns don't wake me up each day and things are not perfect - but they don't need to be. I can still be blessed and I am going to fill that jar.
I want to make the most of as many days as I have left. I want to have to get another jar before December because mine is too full to hold all the notes. I'd like to see a unicorn and maybe one day I will. If you're not sure about making the most of your days or meeting your resolutions - I say to you - just do it. One day at a time. Waking up is an automatic blessing ~ it will keep getting better from there.
xo
PS - the photo is of our January 1st blessing ~ Winnie. She's a sweet little girl who just joined our family. Camille isn't that fond of her but she will come around. ~^..^~
Thursday, December 20, 2012
The Top 9 Things....
One of this week’s writing prompts from Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writer's Workshop was to
“list the top 9 things that bring you joy”.
It wasn’t as easy as I thought.
First I struggled to come up with 9 things that made sense then I had to
struggle to stop at 9. These are the top
9 in no particular order:
Meeting my husband at the door each night when we get home ~ my husband and I eat dinner together every night with rare exceptions. Our time together is very limited so we like to make sure we connect over dinner, decompress and spend time relaxing. I love seeing him pull into the driveway or find him there when I arrive home. Where he is, is home for me.
My cat, Camille ~ she’s 8, domestic short hair, black with a
little white mark on her chest. She is
very social and remarkably vocal. She’s
super nosy, loves to eat and loves to be with us. She also loves to wake me at 4 a.m. to feed
her – that part does not bring me much joy.
Spending time with my family ~ I’m very blessed to be close
to my family. We have fun together
pretty much wherever we are. We all know
how quickly things can change and how precious life is so we make the most of
what we have.
Listening to my 7 year old niece talk about fairies ~ my
little niece is 7 going on 19. She has a
flair for the dramatic that my mother insists she got me from. She’s funny and talented and pretty (hey…she
is just like me!) and she is a ray of sunshine in my life. She has had quite the thing for fairies for a
while and if you get her going she will amaze you with how much she knows. She has me convinced I have two living in my
yard.
Star gazing ~ I always liked looking at the stars but I so love doing it now in our back yard. When the sky is clear, it is dark enough here for me to see forever. I feel very small and very awed at what a tiny part we play in such an enormous story.
Cooking & baking ~ many chefs swear by the adage that food is love. I completely agree. Little gives me more joy than feeding people. Or making people eat my cooking experiments.
Summer ~ I love summer. I love being barefoot outside, warm grass and soft moss, how warm sunshine smells, drying clothes outside, windows open all day and all night, crickets, eating outside, iced coffee, swimming …
Beautiful music ~ there are pieces of music that make my ears bleed, but others make me want to cry. These are some sounds I love: Canon in D; John Denver and the Muppets~A Christmas Together; children singing just about anything....
There are many more things but here are my top 9. If you are feeling blue or think you have nothing to be joyful about - I say to you -start counting and don't stop.
xo
Monday, December 3, 2012
I love sappy Christmas movies
A note~ this blog post is about Christmas and Christmas movies. If you are anti-Christmas, don't like Christmas, don't like to read about Christmas - this might not be of interest to you.
Back to our story.
I love sappy Christmas movies. I make no secret of it. I will watch them over and over and always be surprised at the happy ending. I sometimes cry even though I know what's coming. I am always happy when things work out. My friend Stacey and I both love "While You Were Sleeping" so much that we each have a copy and sometimes watched them at the same time. I can honestly say that is my very favorite movie. Ever. Forever. I love you back :)
I wonder if I watched some of the movies (except my favorite, which I watch year-round) in say June or October whether or not I'd react the same way. I think that it is the spirit of Christmas that helps me to enjoy them more. For many, Christmas is a nutty, overly stressful, way too commercial time of year. Buy too many presents people don't want/need. Bake fattening treats that throw folks off of their healthy paths. Not being able to say "Christmas Tree" or "Merry Christmas" because some people feel offended or left out. That's what is has become for many. I try hard not to let that happen to me and here's how....
When I stop and think about it, I can almost apply that formula to the original Christmas story. Young homeless couple about to have a baby * angels * a miracle. Yup. That might be why I love them. They aren't making fun of the season...they are helping to keep the basics of the story alive. Sort of like teaching people a lesson they didn't know they were learning.
If you can't bring yourself to watch any sappy Christmas movies - I say to you - try to keep the spirit of Christmas in your heart and that will be enough.
xo
Back to our story.
I love sappy Christmas movies. I make no secret of it. I will watch them over and over and always be surprised at the happy ending. I sometimes cry even though I know what's coming. I am always happy when things work out. My friend Stacey and I both love "While You Were Sleeping" so much that we each have a copy and sometimes watched them at the same time. I can honestly say that is my very favorite movie. Ever. Forever. I love you back :)
I wonder if I watched some of the movies (except my favorite, which I watch year-round) in say June or October whether or not I'd react the same way. I think that it is the spirit of Christmas that helps me to enjoy them more. For many, Christmas is a nutty, overly stressful, way too commercial time of year. Buy too many presents people don't want/need. Bake fattening treats that throw folks off of their healthy paths. Not being able to say "Christmas Tree" or "Merry Christmas" because some people feel offended or left out. That's what is has become for many. I try hard not to let that happen to me and here's how....
- I make gifts when I can and give gift cards the rest of the time. It is either really personal or really practical but I give with love and with great thought.
- I bake using healthy recipes much of the time, although a couple things you just can't mess with
- I don't send Christmas cards - I send New Year cards and eliminate all of that stress
- I decorate a little - lights and things that make me happy. My husband is Jewish so I make sure not to exclude him
- I always have something pine-scented burning to help set the mood
- I watch sappy Christmas movies
When I stop and think about it, I can almost apply that formula to the original Christmas story. Young homeless couple about to have a baby * angels * a miracle. Yup. That might be why I love them. They aren't making fun of the season...they are helping to keep the basics of the story alive. Sort of like teaching people a lesson they didn't know they were learning.
If you can't bring yourself to watch any sappy Christmas movies - I say to you - try to keep the spirit of Christmas in your heart and that will be enough.
xo
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