Mimi

Inspired by Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writer's Workshop - I went with:

2.) Find a photo of your grandmother’s hometown and share it.

I want to share a photo I found (on Google Earth) of the house where my grandmother was born, and, I want to share my grandmother.

Her name was Josephine (we called her Mimi), born in Revere, Massachusetts in March 1909.  She was one of 11 children - named for a baby sister who died tragically not long before my grandmother was born.  Two of her older siblings (one did not survive her first year) were born in Italy and the other children were born in the house in Revere where they were all raised.  Her "baby" brother, Ed, still lives in the house.  My great-uncle is 92 and is still as active and busy as ever.

When I think about the stories she told us and what my dad and great-uncle filled in, there's no way to sugar-coat it -- she lead a hard life.  Her dad died when she was a young teenager and she had to leave school to help support her family.  She started out making sugar/flour sacks and eventually became a seamstress.  For a time in her early 20s she even designed clothes.  My grandmother certainly knew her way around fabric and the sewing machine.  She made so many of our clothes when we we young.  I have memories of my sister and I in matching dresses that she made....white summer fabric with small daisies for trim.  We each had a summer set - white with a strawberry design - shorts & sleeveless top to match - with these fabric strawberries for trim (she liked trim).  I know we had other things but those outfits are planted firmly in my mind right now.  She used to cut out patterns on her dining room table -- this heavy wooden monster of a table.  I can still hear the sound of the scissors on the table - it was a sound I loved.  One of my cousins has that dining room set and has taken beautiful care of it.

She married my grandfather in 1937 - ancient to be married in those days.  They had 4 children.  My parents live in the house where my dad was raised & where my siblings and I were raised.  Around 1950, my grandfather built a summer house in Plymouth, Massachusetts.  We spent may happy summer days in that house.  My aunt and uncle still own that house, and live just next door to it.

Funny story about the date of my grandparents' wedding.  In 2010, my husband proposed to me on August 22nd -- which would have been their 73rd anniversary.  Of course, he had no way of knowing that, but I was so happy to share that special date - it made me feel close to them.

In addition to the sewing machine, my grandmother could crochet beautifully.  I wasn't interested in learning for a long time, but when I was finally ready, the teacher appeared.  I was pathetic at it for a long time and never developed the skill that she had, but she always encouraged me and helped fix my mistakes.  Once I even called her to complain about how something I was making wouldn't come out right and she knew over the phone what I was doing wrong without even looking at my work.  As she grew older and her eyesight failed, she couldn't see up close.  She continued to create beautiful pieces because she knew how the stitches felt.  I still use the first hook she gave me.  Everything turns out better with that hook.

Sewing, crocheting -- all took a backseat to Mimi's pizza.  She made it (of course) from scratch and it wouldn't last.  We ate it hot and we ate it cold.  Most often we'd be walking around eating it - who needed a dish?  It was so good.  My cousin Cheree can make it just the way our grandmother did.  I think a gift of pizza from Cheree to me is way overdue.

I loved spending time with Mimi.  Summer nights in Plymouth with my sister and cousins watching Lawrence Welk.  Sitting at her kitchen table watching her frost cookies.  Listening to the intricate lives of the people on the soaps she watched (her stories).  Finding large print word search books as her eyesight began to fail.  Crying with her after my grandfather died -- he drove her crazy but she wouldn't have lived her life any differently.  How long it took me to convince her that, despite my leaving the Catholic faith - a faith she remained 100% devoted to - the Protestants were not a bad bunch and I could still be a good Christian without a Pope to guide me.  Trying, without success, to comfort her after my uncle passed away -- she would never be the same and would follow him 8 months later. 

This January she will be gone 10 years.  I knew I was so lucky to have a grandmother still at age 41.  I miss her so very much.  I wish she could have met my husband - he would have charmed her socks off.  She always knew I would get married, but reminded me that the good ones were hard to find and to be patient.  I wish I wrote down her recipes - there are things I miss and cannot make the way she made them (Cheree....bring me pizza).  I wish I started to crochet when I was 8 instead of 35.  I wish I wish I wish....

We all know that life is short and people are precious.  Most of us don't learn that lesson until way too late.  If you think you have plenty of time - I say to you - no you don't.  Write the recipe down and make it.  Learn to crochet or sew or whatever.  Record your family history -- good & bad.  And if you have someone to teach you something, let them.  You won't regret the special time you spent together.

xo

So...where does the cake topper go?

Inspired by Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous writer's workshop

2) Write a blog post inspired by the word: cupcakes

When I was young, I had my entire wedding planned out.  I knew who would wear what, what I would wear, how I'd have a big cake, what the first dance would be, how the entire day would go -- and then how my entire life would go afterward.  Time passed almost exactly not at all how I planned.

Turns out, not getting most of what I had wished for was exactly right.  In my mid-40s I met the perfect man, we bought a house, got engaged and planned a two-part wedding.  Thankfully my tastes have changed since I was 22 and the wedding planning was fairly simple.  Part one was the wedding, performed by one of my dearest friends with only 6 other people present, and exactly three months later came part two, the reception.

After the wedding, we had a lovely dinner and a very simple cake.  I found a cake topper that was perfect and which sits upon our mantle.  It is an Irish framed trinity knot and on the bottom it reads: May your hands be forever blessed in friendship and your hearts joined forever in love.

The reception was a little bit larger (around 100 or so people), held in a historic barn on a beautiful July afternoon.  The one thing I really really really wanted, rather than a wedding cake, was to serve wedding cupcakes.  Two bite cupcakes.  I love cupcakes.  I think they are more fun than cake and they look so festive.  I honestly thought finding them would be a snap.  Turns out, that was the most cumbersome part of the entire process.  So many bakeries - so few who would make and deliver 250 cupcakes.  Oh, many would make them, but not deliver.  So...I was supposed to move the cupcakes?  Honestly?  Where - in the back of my Saturn Vue?  On the way to my reception?  Sure.  Right.  Forget that.  When I did find a bakery willing to deliver, the cost per (pretty small) cupcake was more than the per slice cost of  larger cake.  It was crazy.

As fate would have it, one day on Facebook, my childhood friend Michelle posted that her two sisters, Bridget and Jannine, were launching a very special baking business.  They did not have a storefront.  They made handcrafted artisan desserts and baked goods.  I saw the website and I believe my mouth watered and I might have wept a little.  Their work was beautiful.  And the descriptions...man oh man...incredible.  Oh - and they made two-bite cupcakes - which they would deliver.  SOLD!

I contacted Jannine and, due to our schedules and my bad timing, we were not going to be able to connect to do a tasting.  I can honestly tell you that I had no problem with that whatsoever.  I believed in their skills...these two are serious artists.  So I ordered four different flavors without a tasting and was 100% relaxed about it.  Some people felt it necessary to tell me I was insane to do that - what if they didn't taste good???  My response was pretty much - what if?  I believed all will be well.

Our wedding reception was in July 2011.  To this day, those cupcakes still come up in conversation and the discussion always goes something like "...those were the most AMAZING cupcakes I EVER had..."  Every time.  Not only did they wow our guests, they thoughtfully put one of each flavor into a little box for us to freeze, so that on our first anniversary we would have wedding cupcakes to eat.  We ate them the next morning.  There was no way those babies were going to last.

This past autumn, Bridget and Jannine turned off their ovens.  I am still sad.  After the wedding, we ordered a number of birthday cakes (see one here) and an anniversary (blackberry/blueberry) pie from them.  They made each event so very special with their artistry and the love you could taste in each bite.  The best part was being able to connect with both of them - I love them - such a wonderful bonus.

Life may sometimes go exactly the way you plan it, though more often than not you will detour over and over and over.  If you get anxious along the way -- I say to you -- skip the tasting and just let the road lead where it will.

xo

Lots of Love

Everyone who knows me, knows about my love for cats.  I have blogged about it on these very pages (here, here,  & here).  I love them.  And I realize that not everyone does - I've heard about it on Facebook - how I post too many cat things.  I beg anyone who dislikes my posts to please unfriend me - things aren't changing on my end.

When I found my Winnie, she had been saved by a local rescue, Lots of Love Cat Rescue (LOLCR).  The Rescue works miracles and relies solely on donations.  They operate on the belief that no cat should be hungry or cold or unloved.  Simple and beautiful.  They are a ray of hope for homeless animals.

In 2013, when they were set to hold their primary fundraising event of the year, I donated a couple of framed photos for the auction.  The event is held at a local restaurant (The Flatbread Company).  On Tuesday nights they will allow local charitable organizations to hold fundraisers at their restaurant.  They will also donate a portion of all pizza sales during the evening.  It's really a win for anyone who attends...pizza and shopping and helping cats...what's not to love? 

This year, I again donated two framed photos and am attending to help set up and to shop and to eat pizza.  I am really excited for the event and the opportunity to help LOLCR.    I have also met some super cool people who help in a variety of ways and I am looking forward to spending time with them.  Their rescue of Winnie has turned out to be an amazing blessing for me and while I can never give back anything equal to that, I am happy to be able to do something.

By now you might be thinking, "that's nice De - have fun at the auction -- is there a point to this blog?".  There is.  I'm writing to ask everyone who reads this to stop and think about what you can do.  How you can help.  How you can make a difference.  If you're not sure, let me give you some ideas.  If you don't live near LOLCR, look around and find a rescue near you.

Money: the fastest way to help.  Send a donation.  Buy a gift card and send that.  So many of these rescues exist completely on donations and from fundraising.  They can guess and hope but they have no idea how much money they might take in.  What they do know is there will always be cats needing them and never enough money to help them all.

Support Fundraising Efforts:  You know the auction I mentioned?  Attend it.  Can't attend?  Think about something to donate next year.  Look around for something happening near you.  Maybe your favorite organization has an on-line store.  Buy a sweatshirt or a T-shirt or a mug.  Buy something.  Follow organizations on Facebook to keep up with what they have going on.

Donate items: Kitten season is upon us and rescues need help.  Towels.  How about a spring clean up of your linen closet.  If you think about, aren't there some towels you never use, but you know they aren't ready to be turned into rags.  Clean towels in good shape are invaluable.  Cat food.  You go to the supermarket, right?  Buzz up the pet aisle and pick up some cat food.  You don't need to buy a zillion cans - buy 4 or 5.  Put them with the towels and get them to a rescue.  If you have a chance to gather friends together, tell everyone it's a kitten shower and that they have to bring one cat-friendly item.  People will have fun with that and will help you build quite a donation pile.

Donate YOU:  You don't have time...blah blah blah...I know.  But you just might.  You have an hour on Saturday or Sunday or whatever day you have off.  You can bottle feed a kitten or clean cat boxes or hold a cat who needs extra love.  You are the very best gift you can give.

Do all or any of these things and you will be a hero.  "De De De ... 5 cans of cat food and some towels I don't use do not a hero make."  Wrong Wrong Wrong.  5 cans of cat food can be 10 meals.  Those towels will help clean or comfort a living creature afraid and in need of care.  You will be MY hero if you help.

We live in a crazy world and in uncertain times.  What doesn't change is the love people have for innocent animals and the generosity of the human spirit when it counts.  If you aren't sure you can help - I say to you - yes you can.  Find a way.  Be a hero.  It's not difficult and the rewards of knowing you have made a difference are endless.

xo

Whoever is holding my hand ... I love you

When I met my husband, I was happy to learn that he had children - I did not have any of my own and really wanted to be a stepmother.  I was also pleased to discover that his grandmother, Matilda, was still living.  My own grandmothers were gone and I missed that special relationship.

I remember the day I met her.  She lived in a giant senior complex.  Her apartment was lovely and extremely neat (she loved to clean).  There were many treasures on display she had collected on her travels.  I was instantly charmed.  She was not at all anything like my own grandmother, but I could not wait to get to know her.

I was blessed enough to be able to spend time with her and to get to know her.  I learned a little about her early life - about her beloved husband Sam - and about how strong a love story can remain, even when one partner is gone.  I learned about her family's journey from Poland to South America then to New York.  Matilda had the most wonderful New York accent -- I could never get enough of it and sometimes asked her questions just to listen to her.

When Brad and I got engaged, we decided we would have a small wedding, with my folks, his mother & stepfather, our officiant Sandra, her boyfriend Steve, and Matilda.  Initially, we weren't sure where or when we'd get married.  We did set a reception date for July 2011, but our wedding date was up in the air. 

In January 2011 Matilda's health was a little off.  We decided to have the wedding as soon as we could pull it all together, because having her there was so important to us.  We also decided that having the ceremony and dinner afterward at the complex where Matilda lived would be just the thing to do.  No having to worry about her traveling - she'd pretty much be home.  It was easier to plan than I thought.  I was home dealing with a herniated disk and wasn't able to dress shop.  An internet purchase, a few calls with the catering manager of her complex, a flower order and we were good to go.  

On a pretty April afternoon, we got married in the chapel at Brooksby Village in Peabody, Massachusetts.  During the ceremony I could see outside the chapel a bunch of Brooksby residents watching us and waving and smiling -- it was so sweet.  We had dinner in a small private dining room there and it was wonderful.  We were so glad we did things the way we did them.  

In addition to loving the sound of her voice, I loved Matilda's attitude.  She was always a lady.  She wouldn't speak badly of people -- even people who didn't deserve a kind word.  She would recognize that they must have something to deal with that makes them the way they are and you really just have to feel badly for them.  She also had a silly side and boy did she love to break some of the rules at Brooksby.  Residents weren't allowed to bring food from the dining room up to their apartments.  They have take-away services, but when there was a brunch or something, no food could go up.  Once when we were there for brunch, Matilda nudged me and handed me something under the table.  It was brisket wrapped in a napkin.  She told me to hold onto it until we got upstairs.  Compliance person that I am - I was horrified.  I reminded her of the rules and she just gave me that heart-melting smile and told me not to worry so much.

Another thing she did all the time was to tell people she loved them.  She had no trouble mouthing it across the table, or just saying it.  She wanted to make sure you knew.  I find it sad that so many people can't share how they feel.  Not Matilda.  I loved most when she'd take my hand and put it against her cheek and say "I love you very much".  I can hear her now saying it.

Over the last couple of years there were more health issues.  Heart, lungs...walking went from slow to infrequent to hardly ever.  We used to go out to eat with her, off the campus, but then it became harder for her to go out.  She also told me she felt safer inside her apartment.  I hated seeing her slow down like that, but she was getting tired.

A few weeks ago she had a fall inside of her apartment.  She ended up in the hospital and doctors determined she would not be going home again.  We spent the weekend visiting with her - really saying good-bye.  And she knew that.  She told us she was glad we had the chance to say good-bye because not everyone does.  She was ready to go.  Her husband had been gone for so long, and she missed him.  The night before her move from the hospital to hospice, my husband went to see her.  She was awake a bit then fell asleep, so he sat next to her holding her hand.  As he was getting ready to leave, she woke a bit and said "whoever is holding my hand, I love you" before she fell back to sleep.

The next day, she moved to hospice.  Her doctors medicated her so that the trip would be tolerable and she remained that way from Tuesday until Friday April 4th, when her journey ended.  It brings me comfort to know that the last words Brad heard from her were about love.

If you have special people in your life - I say to you - let them know how special they are, because you are not guaranteed to always have them around to tell them.

Sleep well sweet Matilda.  I love you and will miss you forever.

xo

Amazon made me cry today

I will start by stating that, at this point in the game, I find I like animals more than I like many people.  I like no one in Amazon's customer "service" unit at all.

For anyone who did not already know this, you can set up a wish list on Amazon, and when people shop they can send you things from your wish list.  Gift giving becomes easier.  Libraries get some books this way.  And sometimes, you can help someone out who just needs a few extra things.  A couple weeks ago I had an opportunity to do something very small for someone else.  I follow two sweet cats on Facebook - Trip and Yoga (visit them here and be forever charmed).  Trip has CH like my Winnie and Yoga is a paraplegic due to an injury.  They are both beautiful and fresh and wonderful.  Their mom, Tiffany, has given them a wonderful life and she shares them with us.   Trip & Yoga have a wish list on Amazon.  I was doing some shopping and added something small from their list to my cart.  It was to be sent to them directly because that's how the wish list works.  I chose kitty shampoo.  Having to bathe cats cannot be anywhere near fun...and cats with potty issues need bathing.  It was just a small bottle of shampoo. 

I expected it had been delivered because I received no notification to the contrary, but I did not check on it.  I happened to be cleaning out my pending purchase emails today and I decided to check on that one.  I was somewhat surprised to learn that the package had never been delivered because it was damaged.  This all took place on December 11th....7 days ago.  Not only was the package damaged...it was in the process of being delivered to ME and NOT to Trip & Yoga, who live in Ohio (which is not anywhere near me) when it was damaged and no one received it.

I contacted Amazon and immediately our relationship began to fail.  First response, filled with customer service BS arrived.  They were so sorry - they know how upset I must have been waiting for something to arrive that was never coming.  (No no Amazon, I dated for many years and did not marry until I was in my mid-40s....I'm used to that)  They were very pleased to offer me options to correct this.  I could receive a refund, or, have the package re-sent to ME overnight at their expense.

I thanked them for their (fake and script-filled) email and asked that the package be delivered to the intended recipient, as should have happened last week.  I then received an email that was worse.  It was a form email that was not filled in properly.  And a sentence began with "unfortunately".  Who decided that it was excellent customer service to EVER begin a sentence with "unfortunately"?  As soon as I hear/read that word, my ears/eyes close and my mind realizes that nothing good is going to follow it.  No no --- they were very sorry but the package could only be delivered to me.

It made me cry.  Literally.  I sat in tears.  Not because of their stupid lack of customer service or the loss of the item - it was cat shampoo.  It was more that  this giant company couldn't help me help these two little cats who have enough to deal with every day.  It was more my frustration at not being able to do something small for someone who does so much.  You know how sometimes you feel sad and it snowballs?  That happened next.  Suddenly it was about animals with special needs never knowing the love they should know.  It was about all the animals sitting in shelters, where volunteers & staff do their best, but these wonderful little creatures live alone in cages.  I wrote about this before (here).  It was one of those afternoons. 

I finally pulled myself together and told them I wanted a refund.  Third horribly written email arrived to thank me for my choice and that they hoped it made me happy.  Ummm...no...it did not.  What made me happy was to go to a pet store on line where I could purchase an egift certificate and send it to Tiffany.  Now she can get more than a bottle of shampoo and she, being an excellent shopper, is going to hold it to take advantage of post-Christmas sales, which will make it work even harder for her.

At the end of the day, it isn't about shampoo or lack of customer service.  It is about doing something, no matter how small, for someone who gives so much to others.  Just do it.  And if you can help an animal in the process, then you're on my good list.  If you don't think you can make a difference, I say to you, try anyhow because you just never know and you will certainly feel happier.

xo

I am a real person

Did you ever read the The Velveteen Rabbit?  In short, a stuffed bunny wants to be Real...he is loved by a little boy, but more than anything Real is what he wants. {SPOILER ALERT} Through the wonders of nursery magic, he eventually does become a Real bunny.

For close to 20 months I was looking for work.  In a pretty short time, I began to feel very much like I wasn't a real person.  More than once I described the job search process as dehumanizing.  117 job applications and, maybe, 7 in-person interviews.  In most of the 117 cases, I never heard anything beyond the initial, generic confirmation.  Nothing.  I really did believe in myself and in my abilities.  For the most part, I applied to positions where I knew I could bring value and had experience.  And that did not seem to matter.  When I was able to interview, I rarely heard back afterward....not even declines.  Decline me...just tell me something.  I wished for my own nursery magic.

On the plus side, for the entire 20 months, I was surrounded by people who did whatever they could to help me.  From the friends & family who made sure I got out and socialized to the friends who put my name in front of hiring managers to my husband who never stopped believing I would triumph.  I will be forever thankful and humbled by the amount of support I received.  I made a deal with myself that I would give that back whenever I could and am looking forward to doing that.

Then, there were some folks who never responded to my requests for help and that was fine -- no one was obligated to help.  There were also a couple of people who weren't overly supportive and felt compelled to be vocal about what they thought, but again, that was fine -- they didn't need to be cheerleaders.  I believed it would happen and that was all that mattered.  And I strongly believe in Karma - the Universe will sort it all out.

Eventually, things would come together.  Job #115 was the magic job.  It was right for many reasons and I started on October 7th.  I have been so happy to go there each day ~ and when I say the commute sucks I'm not kidding ~ but that is manageable.  It's the people and the work.  I think that, in addition to doing work you love, you need to work with people you like and respect.  And I do.  I have been handed so many opportunities to really grow over the last 6 weeks I almost cannot believe it.  I do my best to make sure I am living up to the expectations my team has and those I set for myself.

As a rule, I wake up every day thankful.  I have added my job and my teammates to my list.  They have helped to restore my sense of purpose and value.

My job search time was both wonderful and awful.  I was lucky to have the time home -- I love being home.  I was able to spend the time with family and friends I didn't have before.  I did things out in the yard and in the house I never had time to do.  I adopted an amazing cat with mild special needs - something I would not have done had I been working at that time.  The awful times were how lonely it sometimes could be...how I lost my focus from time to time...and how I wondered if I'd ever be able to continue my career.

I'm glad the nursery magic finally happened for me...how I became Real again.  If you ever doubt your own abilities or feel like giving up - I say to you - keep believing and let the magic happen...I know it will.

xo

Hey 50!

So....I turned 50 this past weekend.  Five-Zero.  It is funny about aging -- some people piss and moan about it "Oh-my 20's are almost over...Oh-I'll never see 35 again..." wah wah wah...and some people just go with the flow.  I don't really have an issue with any age - as far as I can see it certainly beats the alternative.

I am one of those people who views a birthday as the start of a new year.  My new year.  Time for resolutions and such.  Along with contemplating the year ahead, I usually look back and shake my head.  No way last year could I have predicted how things would go I always think.  I go through this pretty much every year.  This year, though, with it being a milestone and all, I have been reflecting on the last decade.  Want to hear about it?

My 40th birthday in 2003 was great fun.  My mother & my dear friend Sandra planned a surprise party for me.  I arrived at my folks house thinking it was just another Sunday at the pool.  Except, the first people I saw were my friend Chris and his wife Donna.  I remember stopping to stare for a second while Chris called across the yard "She's here and she saw me".  It was a wonderful party.  So many people I loved in one special place.

2004 would bring so much sadness.  In May, my beloved Uncle Jim passed away.  In August I was diagnosed with two different cancers.  Surgery would resolve one but my dreams of ever having children would end.  The other was also taken care of but the year was a nightmare.  CTRL ALT Delete 2004

2005 started off sadly - my grandmother passed away in January.  But I did experience positive changes at work.  Family dramas and issues would plague us then, happily, my niece Shannon was born in May and brought so much sunshine.

2006 was good on the work front.  On the relationship front it was not but whatever. 

2007 was great.  Through a chance conversation, one of my aunts found that she was working with the person who had been my best friend in high school.  We reconnected and now live 1/2 mile apart.  I love that.

2008 ~  Traveled a little.  Did quite a bit of dating .. to read about that you'll need to visit the "Horror" section.  Highest note -- I was the officiant of my cousin Laura's wedding to Kevin.  That was just awesome.

2009 was the year things turned around.  In January I met Brad.  I knew on our first date he was a keeper.  In October of that year we bought a house and set about creating a new life.

In August of 2010 we got engaged.  In December I injured my back moving furniture around the house.  Herniated Disk.  Just seeing the words makes my want to cry.  In the midst of trying to recover, I was trying to plan a wedding.  Dress shopping was out...I used a cane for close to 3 months and could barely manage standing up without help.  I tried to make the best of it.  Getting married would be more important than the dress.

2011 would be another year full of highs and lows.  We got married in a small, private ceremony on a pretty April day.  The weekend before it had snowed & the weekend after it poured.  Our wedding day was beautiful.  In July we held a reception in a historic barn on a hot & sunny day.  Perfect.  The year would end on sad notes, though.  In November my Aunt De passed away very suddenly.  Two weeks later our cousin Annie would also pass away just as suddenly.  The day after I learned of Annie's passing, I went to work to find out that the company I worked for was shifting it's business strategy and my job was likely to be eliminated.  Merry Christmas.  It was a crazy year.

2012 started out with me leaving the company where I had worked for almost 23 years.  Bittersweet for sure but not bad.  It was the right time.  I spent the rest of the year looking for a job and really learning about myself.  In June, my husband and my stepdaughter Jill were able to reconnect.  Relationships can be very complicated and other people can complicate delicate situations, but he stayed the course and let her know we both wanted to be close to her.  On Father's Day they reconnected.  She and I would meet three weeks later and she has been a vital part of our family since then.

2013 started on high note.  On January 1st we adopted a new cat, Winnie.  She has mild cerebellar hypoplasia, which is a neurological condition (primarily) impacting her balance.  More on sweet Winnie here.  I took two paralegal courses, which I enjoyed.  Still searching for the right job.  Enjoyed visiting colleges with Brad and Jill.  Went kayaking for the first time.  Finally rounded out the decade with a little family party here at our home.  Some folks could not be with us and others were very much with us in spirit.  Over the weekend I was thinking of the party for my 40th.  The friends who were there - those I am still in touch with and close to and those I am not.  My friend Chris' wife Donna passed away in June 2011 after a valiant battle with breast cancer.  She would have been 50 in February 2012 & I know she would have celebrated the stuffing out of it.

My friend Donna told me about something someone she knew did for her 50th.  She celebrated for an entire year.  I loved that idea.  The Year of De.  I want to do something every month for the entire year.  Nothing big.  Just something every month.  I dislike the overuse of "bucket list" so I'm thinking of Year of De things I'd like to do/see.  I'd like to drive a tractor.  I'd like to go horseback riding...on a trail would be nice but on the beach would be super cool.  I have never seen a newborn kitten ~ I would like to see one and maybe bottle feed it.  That is all I have for right now, but I know other things will be added.  I'll share each as they happen.

If you have issues with your age, zip your trap.  No one wants to hear you whining about being alive.  We all have unmet goals and unrealized dreams.  No where is it written, though, that we have to give up when we hit a certain age or anything...Diana Nyad anyone?  If you aren't sure about where you are in life or where you are going - I say to you - stay the course.  Be the best you that you can be.  Make every year the Year of YOU.  Celebrate YOU.  Because there are people who will never be so lucky to make it that far.

xo

PS
Special thanks & love to Bridget and Jannine of JannaBee's for creating my birthday cake.  It was spectacular & spectacularly yummy.  Love you both for sharing your gifts...I will miss JannaBee's but am lucky to have experienced the magic♥