Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Memorable First Dates (good ones)

My cousin Maria writes a fun blog.  She's a fun person and I adore her.  Another time I'll share how she picked me up at at not one but two funerals.  In her blog she often references another blogger who helps with topics for writing.  I finally visited her today and found a topic.  MamaKat offers up inspirations to help you go - she publishes them on Tuesday and on Thursday you can add a link to what you've written and share on her blog (I think I have that right).  Today I saw an inspiration concerning a memorable first date.  I'm actually going to write about two.

I dated for so very long.  In the words of Charlotte from 'Sex in the City' ... "I've been dating since I was 15 - I'm exhausted".  That certainly summed it up for me.  I came late to the marriage game - marrying for the first time at age 47.  My husband was certainly well worth the (extremely long) wait.  I had given up more than once and had my share of meeting insane people, but the insane stuff can wait.  I'd like to share two really great dates.

The first would be the one where I met my husband.  January 19, 2009 - a snowy MLK day.  It was one of those meetings where I knew pretty much right away that I'd be marrying him (if he wanted to go out with me again).  I just knew it.  For years my friend Jane had wagged her finger at me saying "when you least expect it, it will happen".  Personally, I thought she was full of whatever but turns out she was completely right on.

So we met, bought a house in October 2009 and were married on April 9, 2011.  Overall we had to face some stupid obstacles but we were always on the same side of every problem, which has made our life together wonderful.  We laugh quite a bit and we enjoy spending whatever time together we can.  He has helped me to relax more and to try and worry less...to embrace spin as a primary means of exercise and to make it a way of life rather than a chore.  I hope I have encouraged him to appreciate the value of laundry separated into proper groupings...expiration dates....coupons.  I understand now what people mean when they say that someone else shares half of their soul - my husband has mine.

Weird as it may be and considering how many dates I went on when I was single, I can honestly say I only met one other person who left me with a positive and sweet memory.  Sure, there were people I met I thought were worth the effort, but they were not.  Not one of them.  One person, however, was.

It might have been 2002 - I wish I could remember exactly.  A friend of mine from work wanted me to meet her brother.  He did not live in New England but was visiting their family and she really wanted us to meet.  So we met.  And I liked him.  He was funny and smart and easy to be with.  We had fun.  My friend and her then-boyfriend, now-husband joined us and we all had a great night as I recall.  But he didn't live here.  And he didn't live close enough to make visiting easy.  And I wasn't as together as I could have been or brave enough or plugged into how few great chances we get to realize I should have tried it out.  I didn't.  We stayed in touch a bit but I couldn't bring myself to visit him.  I was afraid to leave my life here.  When I saw him at my friend's wedding I felt so sad we never connected.  But he was involved with someone and he was happy, so I was happy for him.  I hope he's still happy.

Relationships aren't easy but they don't need to be anywhere near as difficult as we make them.  Unless two rocket scientists are in a relationship, there's no rocket science involved.  In the timeless words of Bill & Ted - be excellent to each other.  It's nearly that simple.  

To anyone who wonders if a risk is worth it - I say - take it.  You'll never know otherwise.  Things may work out for the best, but they were going to work out for the best anyway.  Why not have fun along the way.



  1. Great Post! - you knew in your heart that that you were waiting for Brad (even though you did not know it in your head) LOL. Nice story - lots of good advice! xoxo

  2. So right Lysa! It worked out the way it was supposed to work out. I'm a very lucky girl ♥

  3. I love it when first dates work out!
    I bet Brad appreciates expiration dates and coupons more than he has in his whole life...but no matter how wonderful he is, never trust a man to group the laundry properly!
    So glad he is a part of your life
    Enjoy Mama Kat - I usually link up with her on Thursdays....

  4. He does appreciate the coupons - laundry....nah