So deserving of love

I like to think that I have at least an acceptable level of compassion for living creatures (most rodents & bugs, however, do not get any mercy).

Since bringing a cat with mild special needs into our family (read about it here), I have found myself experiencing increased compassion for homeless animals, zero tolerance for anyone who would harm or abandon a pet, and a larger place in my heart for pets with special needs and the people who love them.  My heart does break for people who responsibly surrender - they are doing the best they can for their pet.

I recently read about Homer, a blind cat, who passed away not long ago.  Homer sounds like he was a wonderful companion.  More important, Homer's human shared his story and inspired people all over the world.  I've been reading the messages of love to Homer's human, Gwen Cooper, and I find myself in tears over and over.  Cooper, in sharing his story, has made such a difference.  I think even she is surprised at how broad Homer's story reached and how much it mattered.  She caused so many people to open their homes and hearts to animals who might otherwise have been unloved or euthanized.

I follow a blind Golden Retriever every day.  Ray Charles and his family live a couple towns away.  I love reading the messages posted on his Facebook page.  Because he has not yet reached his first birthday, the messages are written in the voice of a small child which makes them even more charming and fun.  There are haters who cannot wait to mock on his page -- those people do not last long there for sure.  His page is a place for joy and happiness - the updates never fail to make me smile.  His family rescued him from a breeder who was going to put him down when his blindness was discovered.  The idea of purchasing animals from breeders makes me angry, but to put an animal down without giving him a chance just defies logic.

Mr. Magoo the blind cat, every kitty on the CH page I belong to, and countless other inspirational animals [and their humans] are making a difference.  They are showing the world that animals with special needs deserve love and the chance at a good life.  So what if they didn't come from breeders or are not "perfect"?  Ask the humans attached to any of these animals and they will tell you how perfect their little companions are.  My Winnie has no idea there's anything different about her.  She really thinks cerebellar hypoplasia means "precious & adorable" in Latin.  She brings me so much joy - I cannot imagine life without her.  Even my Camille is in a group of animals generally among the last to be adopted -- black cats.

There are some adjustments we've made for Winnie but nothing major.  And that's pretty much what it's like with many special needs animals.  Minor adjustments then business as usual.  My heart hurts when I see how many animals need homes - those with special needs stand less of a chance of finding homes.  They deserve love and they deserve safe homes.  They give so much back.  They teach us how to be tolerant and how far our hearts can stretch.  Best Friends Animal Society works to ensure one day there will be no more homeless pets.  Check out these pages - you might be inspired.  At the very least, you will be touched.

If you have ever thought a pet with special needs would be too much for you - I say to you - look again, because you might be making the most wonderful decision ever.  If not, do what you can to help a homeless pet, whether it means you adopt/rescue/volunteer or just send a gift card for pet supplies to a no-kill shelter -- Winnie & Camille just sent a gift card to the Northeast Animal Shelter to help other kitties have enough to eat.  You can make a difference, too.

xo

Me in a kayak

Inspired by Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writer's Workshop, I wanted to share how my Facebook image - me in a kayak - came to be.

4.) Share the story behind your current Facebook and/or Twitter profile photo

I will start by saying that I am not a good boater.


A bunch of years ago, on the weekend before the tragedy of The Perfect Storm, I went out on a deep sea fishing trip from Gloucester MA.  It was beautiful.  Clear skies, nice seas.  Back then, I loved boating.  During the trip, however, the weather conditions changed.  The skies remained clear but the two storms that were coming up & down the coast met and the seas became crazy.  High waves.  Scary moments.  The boat was a good size - maybe 40'?  Without warning, a wave hit us on one side and sent that side almost straight in the air.  I was on the other side that went over toward the water.  I can still see it all in s l o w motion.  We came so close to taking on water but we didn't.  We righted quickly then got slammed by a wave.  I have never been so wet with so many clothes on.  I mean soaked under my skin.  Then that was all - nothing else happened to us.  One giant wave.  We watched other boats nearby have the same thing happen.  The captain told us that the Coast Guard was on the way to rescue someone from a sister ship who had a heart attack.  It was like a movie - they had to lower a stretcher from a helicopter because the sea was too rough to get near them.  Three hours after we left port and the tides changed enough to settle the water, we returned home (ala Gilligan's Island.

Since the boating incident I have never been a good boater.  I always need to be near the life raft or know just where the life jackets are (and be able to see them & reach one quickly).  I've tried - wine helped me on a whale watch last summer - but I never really relax.  We went about 16 miles off the Maine coast last month and I didn't take a good deep breath until we were on land.

I have been in a kayak in the ocean.  This summer, my husband wanted us to kayak in Maine where my stepdaughter Jill lives.  I was afraid to try it.  Basically, I was afraid of tipping over and drowning.  Simple.  To help me be less afraid, he got us a tandem kayak.  This allowed me get a feel for it but not have to be alone.  And I loved it.  I really had fun once I got used to the motion.  It was a great workout and we did not flip over and drown, which I consider to have made the day a success.  Being in the tandem also allowed me to take some great pictures, including the self portrait I'm using on Facebook.

This past weekend we went back up to kayak with Jill.  The water was choppy and it was windy.  Small craft advisory in effect.  Small craft = us in kayaks.  I went out with Brad in the tandem while Jill went in the single.  On the way back, Jill & I switched and I took the single.  Not so easy without Brad in the back.  I felt every wave and every gust of wind.  I was actually swearing out loud when a boat went by.  But I made it back without flipping over and drowning.  Hooray for me!

I may never be a good boater, but I have been in a kayak in the ocean - twice - and that's pretty cool as far as I'm concerned.  If you are afraid of something - I say to you - get in the tandem kayak first so you know what to expect then set yourself free.  It's scary but it feels good (and you'll have the pictures to prove it).

xo

Bravery & Failure

Once again inspired by Mama Kat's Pretty Much Famous Writer's Workshop , I'm sharing a quote I found on Pinterest that inspires me.

The quote:  Don't be afraid to fail.  Be afraid not to try.

I love quotes.  I use them quite a bit and often take some inspiration from them.  This quote is kind of a big deal for me and I'll tell you why.

In March of 2012, I left the company where I had worked for close to 23 years.  There was a business shift and positions were eliminated.  For me it was the right time to step away, recharge my batteries and get ready for the next exciting phase in my life.

I had been doing work that I loved and figured all my talent + experience = a snazzy new job when I was ready.  I waited about 2 months to start looking.  It took me a while to disconnect and get into a new groove.  For the first two weeks I felt guilty leaving the computer...never mind just sitting and watching TV.  I had to transition from work mode to not working mode and it was harder than I thought.  I did learn to watch TV without guilt eventually.

Finally my search began.  I applied to positions that resembled my last job.  And I heard back from maybe one.  I kept applying.  And I kept not hearing much of anything.  Sometimes I would go two months without a response.  I worked with an outplacement counselor and she helped me figure out how to expand my search.  She would tell me ..."Don't be afraid to try - to explore new avenues.  Don't be afraid to market your skill set in a new industry."  And I did it.  I expanded my boundaries.  I figured, what do I have to lose? 

Don't be afraid to fail.  Be afraid not to try.  And that process continued.  It continues still.  I search job postings daily and apply when I have a good feeling.  I've had some interviews, have met and spoken with some really nice people.  My friends have humbled me through their willingness to do whatever they could to help.  I have been incredibly blessed with the level of support I have received.

Don't be afraid to fail.  Be afraid not to try.  This process is not for the weak of spirit.  It is dehumanizing.  I'm a real person without a job.  The silence is the worst part.  I went to an interview on a morning when we were having a blizzard.  It took me three hours to get into Boston - a trip that normally would have taken 40 minutes.  The interviewer was not as sharp as I would have expected considering the organization and his level.  My career was in his hands and it didn't feel great.  And then I heard nothing.  Nothing.  I went there in a blizzard for goodness sake. 

Don't be afraid to fail.  Be afraid not to try. These words keep me moving forward.  I keep applying to positions.  I keep networking.  I ask for help when I can.  I ignore the negative comments from people who have no clue.  While I consider each silence a form of failure, I know I cannot stop - I'm more afraid to give up.  I know the perfect job and I are very close to finding each other.

Don't be afraid to fail.  Be afraid not to try. If you are afraid to fail - I say to you - don't be.  The moment you stop trying, you have automatically failed.  Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving.  Life has a funny way of working out just as it should - have faith.

xo

My favorite summer view so far....

Was totally inspired by Mama Kat's Pretty Much Famous Writer's Workshop to share my favorite summer view so far.

During July 4th week we were on vacation in Boothbay Harbor, Maine.  I have seen some wonderful sights in my life and have been to some amazing places, but there is something about Boothbay that feels like home in my heart.

Despite living in Massachusetts my entire life, I never visited that region until last summer.  And I fell in love right away.  This year there was no discussion about where we would spend vacation - back to Boothbay we headed.  We've been home for 4 days and I am already looking forward to next year.

During our visit we decided to take a boat trip out to Monhegan Island.  I am not much of a boater, so 16 miles away Boothbay (though only 10 miles from the mainland) was a big deal for me.  I was mildly panicked on the ride out but it was a pretty morning and the seas were sort of calm.  Though the skies were clear, there was low-lying fog, which caused the island to suddenly appear before us, which was spooky & neat.

It is charming and lovely.  No paved roads.  No vehicles aside from some trucks used to transport luggage and large items.  Beautiful walking trails.  A small beach.  A shipwreck.  A lovely inn where we stopped for a scrumptious lunch.  This is a village - people live and work here.  We took care not to venture off trails into anyone's yard.  Everyone we passed was friendly.  Despite how hot and humid the day was, we walked as far as we could.  We even ventured up a good-sized hill and were rewarded with the most spectacular view.  We could clearly see the inn where we had just eaten.  The wharf was still shrouded in fog.  Manana Island, just next door, was barely visible.  In my eyes, this was the most wonderful view of summer I have had yet.  I even submitted the photo to a local photo contest....wish me luck.

If you have a chance to try something new - I say to you - put your fears aside because the reward just might outweigh everything else.  And sit near the lifeboats if you really can't let go.

xo

The best things in life aren't things

I was getting ready to write about how some things are important.  A wedding gift we received broke last week and I was very sad about it.

A little back story ... when my cousin Laura got married in 2008, I gave them a gurgling cod pitcher.  Laura told me she would give me one when I got married.  At that time, I was single and believed I would never get married so I didn't choose a color or anything.  Fast forward to 2009 when I brought my new boyfriend to Plymouth to meet my Aunt Nancy, Uncle Ed, Laura and her husband Kevin.  As we walked along the beach, Laura asked me what color cod I wanted.  I had already decided I was keeping this boyfriend - either he'd marry me or I'd chain him to the basement wall.  Laura knew he was the one also.  Fast forward again to August 22, 2010 - the day we got engaged.  I called Laura and told her to pick out the cod.  She and Kevin gave us two small cod as a pre-wedding present & the larger cod for our wedding.  They maintained a special place in my heart & on our mantle.

Last week a framed image we had above the mantle fell down.  It took the large cod with it.  Our wedding cake topper was spared but I felt so sad at the loss of the cod.  It can be replaced and I have the story but I still felt sad.

Then last night I saw the horror in Oklahoma.  Homes - gone in an instant.  Incredible devastation.  Children trapped in schools.  People missing.  The first thing I did when I heard about it on the news was to send prayers.  I kept hoping the trapped children would be OK.  I kept hoping that families would find one another and that the death toll would not be high.  I woke up to mixed news.  Sad.  My heart hurt looking at the photos.  When I saw the video of Barbara Garcia finding her puppy in the rubble I was reminded of what really mattered.

All of the heartache and destruction in Oklahoma slapped me in the back of the head to remind me that it isn't about things.  Yes, we can cherish our belongings and feel sad if anything happens to them.  At the end of the day though, if my house disappeared, as long as I had Brad and our cats, Camille & Winnie, we would be OK.  Brad and the cats are my family and they are what matter.

If you get wrapped up in what you have or what you do not have - I say to you - count the people and not the things and never lose sight of what is really important. ♥

xo

Cruise Control

People who know me - or more specifically, who have been in the car while I have been driving - know my patience all but disappears when I'm behind the wheel.  I have little tolerance for drivers who do not pay attention, who will not use a directional, who make driving the second or third thing they're doing while they are in the car, and who get in my way while doing any combination of these things.  I yell, I beep, I show them the state bird.  The thing is, I'm not sure why I lose control so easily.  Maybe because I think of motor vehicles as dangerous weapons and the users need to be careful.  You want to run a stop sign while on the phone and smoking and yapping at your passenger - do it someplace else but do not do it front of me.  

Yesterday, my husband and I took my stepdaughter Jill up to Orono, Maine to visit a college.  It is a four hour trip each way.  I demanded that he split the driving with me.  He really does not enjoy my driving and considering how patient a man he is, well ....   He finally agreed.  Because the roads were dry and there was very light volume, he suggested I just set cruise control and relax.  We had many miles of moose warnings and I really needed to keep my eyes on the sides of the road and not the speedometer.  Cruise control it was.  And what a difference.  I found myself far more relaxed than I ever am in the car.  I did the same thing on the way home and again found myself much more relaxed than I was used to.  Why do I never use it?  What a waste of a neat feature.

This morning I did it on the way to church, and again it worked!  I relaxed.  I had my speed set and what everyone else was doing really was not my problem.  I just did my own thing and made my way without incident (and with lower blood pressure).

During my drive I was thinking about cruise control, both in the car and in my life.  Over the last two days it has really been great in the car.  But when I looked at my life I realized that I've been too much on cruise control lately and have not been as in tune as I needed to be.  I've been out of work for 13 months and the search process has been exhausting and dehumanizing to say the least.  In late January I began two classes toward a paralegal certificate.  In addition to spending a couple of hours each day on my job search, I now spend 5-6 hours per day on school work.  I am doing really well in both classes and am pretty proud of myself, but I put my life on cruise control to do it and I am not sure it was the best idea.  

I love going to the gym, especially spinning.  Yet, for the last few weeks, at the end of each day I am so exhausted, I have not been going.  I have sacrificed my fitness because I had to hit cruise control to keep myself on track.  The thing is, I miss it so much but cannot seem to make myself go.  And that bothers me.  

So I'm done with cruise control outside of the car for now.  Tomorrow night I will be back on the bike where I belong.  My school work and job search and laundry and house cleaning will also be done, but if they are not, it will be OK.  I have another chance on Tuesday to get everything done.

I think it is very easy to get into a rut.  In fact, I know it is easy.  Getting out should be just as easy.  All I have to do is tap the brake and cruise control turns off.

If you find yourself needing to let go of a little control or needing to take some back - I say to you - look at your cruise control.  If it is on, tap the brake.  If it's off, set it and make your life a little bit easier.

xo

I miss ... you

Ever just miss someone all of a sudden?  Maybe it was a song or a smell or a flower that reminded you of them.  Maybe it's their birthday.  Or an anniversary.  Or maybe you just miss them.

I, like many others, miss people who were special to me and who have passed away.  Some have been gone for a long time.  My mother's mother died when I was not quite 3.  I was her first grandchild and from what I have been told, I spent quite a bit of time with her.  I remember a few little, random things - this park we used to visit in Winchester (I really just remember weeping willows - my mother told me where we went) and the little Dachshund we used to see.  What I do believe I remember is the day she died.  She wanted to see me but because I was a child I was not allowed in the hospital.  I remember being in the parking lot with my dad and seeing her up in the window.  I have a pretty good memory so it might be real, even though I was so young.  She's been gone almost 47 years and I miss her.  I think I miss the relationship I know we would have had.  She never met my brothers and she would have adored them.  Her birthday is next month and I still note it on my calendar.

My dad's mother died in 2005 and I miss her very much.  Today, March 9, is her 104th birthday.  It makes me sad that she never met my niece, Shannon and she never met my husband.  They both would have charmed her socks off.  She taught me to crochet and whenever I do I feel close to her.  I often use the first hook she gave me - it was her favorite and it is mine.  She hated the idea of cooking with fake substitutions - she believed natural was better.  I used to roll my eyes at her and preach low-fat this and low-fat that.  She'd roll her eyes right back and tell me real ingredients were better.  You know what - she was right.  I prepare more healthy recipes using fewer "fake" elements and better natural ingredients. 

I also miss people who are still living.  I do not get to see them often or often enough.  Most live close by and the business of life rips the time from the calendar at an alarming speed.  Our visits become fewer and farther between.  It is also very easy to get wrapped up in our own schedules and patterns...it is sometimes very difficult to even think about veering away from what we always do to make time for anything else.  I am not sure if that is a casualty of growing older - we don't remember how to just let go.  What's the harm in meeting for coffee or ice cream or a short walk.  Will everything break or stop working or grind to a halt.  Nope.  I think that, as we age, we need each other to help keep grounded.  I have a husband who never skips a chance to hug and I love that.  But I also love hugging my female friends.  It's a special bond we have where sometimes a hug is all we need.  

I am vowing to see people I miss more.  When some of you hear me forcing you to meet me despite schedule issues and whatever - know it is because I miss you.  Ask my sister-in-law Erin - my mother and I were having lunch last week and I asked Erin to join us.  I felt like seeing her.  I do not get to spend much time with her and I felt that morning that I really wanted her to join us.  So I gave her two hours notice and she beat us to the restaurant.  I was very happy she did that.  Yes - she had 957 other things to do, but she put them aside for a little bit and the three of us had fun.

As a Christian, the season of Lent has me thinking of many things.  I am not one of those "must-give-up-everything-and-then-whine-about-it" types.  I like thinking of making other changes.  Giving up unhealthy things or habits.  And cleaning.  Spring Cleaning.  Lent is a time to put away what we can do without, so we can be free to focus on getting ready for the joy of Easter - it is the right time to spring clean our souls and our minds.  The United Church Of Christ, to which I belong, is doing a great Spring Clean for Lent.  It was today's posting that made me think of the other side of missing people -- the people I have on the edge of my life who probably don't need to be there any more.  Maybe at one time we were close but we are not now.  Maybe we only caught up from time to time but now we do not.  I learned this lesson some time ago, so that is a short list.  This is the time - my spring cleaning.  I don't miss them and, obviously, they do not miss me.  Our guide for today: Lent Day 24 (22) (3/9/13): Say goodbye to someone you need to say goodbye to. Whatever the circumstances, good or bad, remember that “goodbye” comes from “God be with you.”

Time flies by so quickly and nothing much is guaranteed.  Bring people closer or let them go.  Make the time for people who are important.  If you are not sure you can let go - I say to you - "God be with you" is not the worst way to send someone off into the world.

xo